The Question, Ladies And Gentlemen, Is This: Is That A Naked Woman In Dick Cheney's Sunglasses?

To the right of this post, you'll see the picture that has all of the Internet abuzz. To prove my point, try googling "cheney sunglasses". As of this moment, I have over 137,000 hits, mostly from the last 24 hours. Lord knows how many hits there will be by the time that you read this.

The general question that people seem to want to have answered is the question referenced in the title of this post (see the Chicago Sun Times or several hundred locations if you don't believe me).

So, what is that image in Vice-President Cheney's sunglasses, anyway?
I submit these suggestions to what we are seeing in the image:

• Satan bowing down to Mr. Cheney.
• A human soul being sucked from an adult female in order to provide sustenance to the VP.
• The final emergence of Chulthu.
• The experiment has finally worked, and Cheney has finally bred a half-human, half-praying mantis beast. He calls it ManTis. Run!
• The aftereffects of gazing into the Ark of The Covenant (don't look, Marion!).

What this image in Mr. Cheney's sunglasses is NOT:

• A naked woman.

Now. Why were we supposed to care, again?

Cloverfield

I don't know what the heck it is yet, but I'm definitely going to go see it.  I do know that someone I know is actually in the movie, and pretty much everything that I've seen has made me more apt to see it in the theater, if just to figure out what the blank is going on in the movie.

I didn't see 30 Days Of Night (yet), but I will see it on video most definitely.

I did see Into the Wild, and I might just do a review for a friend online so that you can see it.  We will see.

But I am seeing Cloverfield.  Hi, TJ!

An Oldie, But A Goodie

I can't remember if I had posted this before, but an article title on Fark reminded me of it.  The Fark article title?

"Oh my God, there was this study where kids ate lots of food colors and preservatives and they were all like "WEEEEEEEEEE." Gonads and strife, gonads and strife, gonads and strife"

So, without too much fanfare:
The Inspiration.

Keeping Lethal Animals In Your House Just Might Leave A Mark

...and...the Sun is there.

 

A MAN who lived in his own "zoo" of lizards and insects was fatally bitten by a pet black widow spider — then eaten by the other creepy-crawlies.

Police broke in to Mark Voegel's apartment to find spider Bettina along with 200 others, several snakes, a gecko lizard called Helmut and several thousand termites had gorged on his body.

Neighbours alerted police after becoming alarmed by the stink.

And horrified officers were met by a nightmare scene.

Interesting story, indeed.

 

Victim:  Are you trying to tell me that keeping a bunch of dangerous spiders, venomous snakes, and poisionous frogs and toads in my house is a bad idea, somehow?

 

Observer with common sense:

  

 

 

Ah.  The thing that I love most about the world is a diversity of ideas.  Mostly bad ones, but ideas nonetheless.

Hoaxes On The Internet

The way that you can tell that you've been on the Internet for a while is that you've at least seen or heard of most of these, highlighted today by Yahoo:  The Top 25 Web Hoaxes.

 

Some old favorites:

 

2. Sick Kid Needs Your Help (1989)

4. Five-Cent E-Mail Tax (1999)

5. Nigerian 419 E-Mail Scam (2000)

20. Rand's 1954 Home Computer (2004)

21. Microsoft Buys Catholic Church (1994)

Funny how things change so much, yet so little in Internet culture.  In some variety, I still see a lot of these available on the Internet and in my email - some daily.  Do yourselves a favor, folks, seriously:  check Snopes.com before you send that email explaining how Bill Gates is giving away money for just sending an email.  Snopes is a good resource, and is conveniently located on my sidebar.  Oldsters will remember the old Usenet group rec.folklore.urban - from which Snopes was born.  These guys know their stuff and have been writing about Internet and other urban folklore, or urban legends, for years.

Take a look.  I tend to do that before I believe anything that I read on the Internet.

 

 

 

Digg Dugg?

Uh oh.  I'm not sure what happened to Digg.com, but something big is definitely afoot.

 

I've never really seen anything like this on user run websites, but chaos is taking place over on Digg. As I have mentioned before, Digg is my favorite website out there, but after they banned me earlier today I got a little pissed. I submitted a story about a T-Shirt with the now famous HD-DVD hex key on it, and I was banned for "violating the terms of use".

Stories were getting deleted and user accounts were being banned all because of a stupid HD-DVD copyright Hex code that can be used to unlock HD-DVD. Digg claimed that they could be sued and what not for it so they decided to censor all of the stories that had to deal with the key. The whole thing is just bull, you can't copyright a sequence of numbers and letters.

Thank TechPwn.

 

Then this, also from TechPwn.

 

Well, as a follow up, digg has shut down story submissions. They have also turned off the ability for stories to reach the front page.

 

This is quite the interesting thing to come home to after a 15 hour day.  Here's a little Digg background.

 

...and here's Digg.com.

 

Slashdot weighs in here. 

 

I am a member of Digg, but I haven't been there lately.  The geek in me finds this revolt... intriguing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Best of 2006

Kottke.org has compiled a list of the Best Links of 2006.  Seriously funny, informative, and interesting stuff. 

There are too many highlights to name, but I do have favorites (so far):

 

 

The Simpsons intro done with live actors.

 

A story about 40-year-old men and women who look, talk, act, and dress like people who are 22 years old.

 

Details on how to speak to a live customer support person for hundreds of companies.

 

How one man fell for a Nigerian email scam.

 

MotherLoad,

 

There are so many others.  Go check it out.

I Still Don't Know What Web 2.0 Means

...but it seemed like a good idea to keep this around.

 

Here you are the most interesting web 2.0 site all over the internet, please if you have more sites add them to the comments

 

Via, who?  Web 2.0 Magazine.

 

I still don't know what Web 2.0 means though.  Is that like a WebX or something?  Web to the extreme?

 

Generation Web?

 

Doesn't matter.  All that I know is that YouTube, Weblogs, Inc., Digg, Skype, and whatnot are kind of the future for the Internet.  Wise to check out the article and probably bookmark it.  I know that I'm waaaaay behind the curve on the proper use of internet tools.  If I have some time I'll try to catch up.

 

 

 

Life's Soundtrack

An idea nabbed from the Assimilated Negro.  What's my life's soundtrack?

 

Well, according to my trusty iPod, here it is.  I find it interesting.  You might as well.  Notice that I didn't cheat to make myself look better/cooler/hipper.

 

Opening Credits: Award Tour - A Tribe Called Quest

Waking Up: Money For Nothing - Dire Straits
First Day at School: Y Control - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Falling In Love: Get It On - T.Rex

Fight Song: Beastie Boys - Heart Attack Man

Breaking Up: The Warmth - Incubus

Prom: Love Me Two Times - Doors

Life: Cupid - Jack Johnson

Mental Breakdown: Kid Fears - Indigo Girls

Driving: Torn and Tattered - Joss Stone

Flashback: The Letter - Macy Gray
Wedding: Hanging Around - Counting Crows

Birth of Child: Silver Lining - David Gray
Final Battle: More Than A Woman - Bee Gees

Death Scene: You're So Rad - Bouncing Souls
Funeral Song: Cornflake Girl - Tori Amos

End Credit: Girl Afraid - The Smiths

 

 

 

 

 

Day Of The Robot

The dawn of the Robot Age draws ever nearer.

Oh great. As if the potent, robotic cocktail of self-replication, self-awareness, and wireless power weren't bad enough, along comes Cornell University with a robot capable of not only discovering its own nature (something we can't even do) but then adapts to overcome injury. This four-legged robot starts out knowing only what parts it has, not where they are or how to use them for locomotion. It applies a scientific method of theory and experimentation to develop computer models and ultimately, a set of commands to turn its motors for that first cautious step. Even when researchers remove part of the toddling robot's leg, the little guy still figures out a way to limp forward.

Check it out! Engadget! They can still bring the goods.

Notes to self:
1. Incorporate company called Cyberdyne Systems, vigorously defend name of said organization through the legal system.
2. Develop network of contacts throughout the Western Hemisphere where, if necessary, I could hide out.
3. Find, and warn, Sarah Connor.

Actually, I wasn't about to use that overworked cliché, but it was just too much for me and I had to.

All that being aside, Cornell does it again. That's pretty interesting. The question is, can I make that robot clean my house? Will it abide by the Three Laws of Robotics? Should I be worried?

I want one.

Caption Of The Week

First, let's look at the article.

 

Birdwatchers rushed excitedly to see a swallow that hasn't been seen in Britain for 20 years - then got a nasty surprise when eaten by a hawk in front of their eyes.

 

Article in Metro UK.  Found via Fark.

 

Now, *ahem*, the picture and caption.

 

 

A sparrowhawk: I'M IN UR SKIEZ,

EATIN UR SWALL0WZ

 

No, seriously.

That caption was, "I'M IN UR SKIEZ, EATIN UR SWALLOWZ"

 

Those that don't understand this particular Internet meme should take a look at this post on Boing Boing .

I love the parrot in the macaroni.  I'm not sure why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

More Blogger Woes And A Shout Out

Just so it's out there, for some reason, Blogger was blowing up my posts earlier this week.

 

I only say that for those of you that were wondering, "Why hasn't Clark posted anything on Election Day?"

 

Needless to say, things seem to be working again.  Ack.  If you posted a comment anywhere (this means you, L!), then you might want to repost your comment.  Sorry!

 

In the meantime, let me give a shout out to all these places that have visited lately.  Lately I've been getting a heck of a lot of hits, and that I appreciate, but it's making it harder to give out the appropriate shouts, as the list is getting a bit long.

 

*deep breath*

 

Erie, Lafayette, Parker, and Denver, Colorado, Florida, New South Wales, Austrailia, Denmark, The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee (go Panthers!), Chicago, Dubai, United Arab Emirates, Berlin, Newfoundland, Canada, Bainbridge Island and Gig Harbor Washington, Australia, Portland, Oregon (yes, I did go there!), Stockholm, Sweeden, and finally, my boys in San Antonio, TX - where I love my guys at KKD.  Keep on keepin' on.

 

There's quite a few more, but my hands are tired.

 

Keep coming around.  I'll get you listed on a shout out sooner or later.

On My Outdated iPod

A very long, long time ago, I bought an iPod. 

 

And hit shuffle.

 

It's the end of 2006, and my iPod has reached obsolescence, but still I shuffle on.  Here are the last ten songs on my iPod.

 

In The Waiting Line - Zero 7

More Than A Woman - The Bee Gees

Head Over Heels - Tears For Fears

Round Midnight - Miles Davis

G. Love and Special Sauce - I-76

The Cure - The Caterpillar

Moby - Natural Blues

Black Eyed Peas - Head

The Beatles - Revolution 9

Ray Parker Jr. - Ghostbusters

 

Two comments.

1.  There's a definitive theme there.  Really.  If you give it a good, good look, you can see a them.  I'm just too much of homebody to tell you what it is.

2.  ...except for this.  Ghostbusters?! 

 

I've got to pick up some new CDs.  From the used CD shop.  Without DRM.

 

Wha...! I've been TAGGED!

It was bound to happen.

 

First, I have to shout out to Tart Sarah, whose tagged my homie in the first place.  The one she got it from?  Here: The Traveler's Lunchbox.  The real blame for my tagging, however, goes to my homeboy over at Ringloss.  Damn you!  Damn you to Hell!

 

And.... here's the list.  No particular order.

 

1.  Tortilla Soup from El Mirador in San Antonio, Texas.

Dear God, what can I say about this soup?  I discovered it while attending school there, and quickly it rose to the ranks of Personal Food Legends.  Already, it was a local legend, but WOW.  If you were my date, and got to dine at El Mirador on a late Saturday morning, stand in line (because there always was one) and get some iced tea, some gooey, veggie nachos, and that freakin' soup, you KNEW you were in and we were at least partially serious.  Good Lord, that was good stuff.

 

2.  Just About Any Dish from Carmine's On Penn, Denver, Colorado

I love good Italian food - sauces thrill me.  However, Carmine's has some GREAT Italian food.  Seriously.  You should eat it soon - especially this shrimp/sausage/pepper/chicken thing that I can't pronounce (but I know it when I see it), and it is basically defines this particular category to a T. 

 

3.  Vanilla Ice Cream with a Licorice Coating, Sweden

I... have never had this.  I have a reliable source that says that it is one of the most wonderful things on the face of the planet.  I know her well and trust her at her word.  Worse yet, I don't even like licorice that much, but damn, this sounds good.  Take thee to Sweden.

 

4.  Fisherman's Wharf, San Francisco, California

It's been a while since I've been there, I'll admit.  However, if memory serves, you can't go wrong with just about any seafood you pick up right there on the Wharf.  It's here, now, and fresh as a man or woman can get.  And, now, this has probably changed... but it was cheap.  Seriously.  One must go there and feast.  Nature Viewing Bonus:  If you go the right time of year, you might, just MIGHT, see a whale.  I did.  Whales are big.  Very big.

 

5.  Swiss Chocolate.

This is a shout to all of you chocolate lovers.  I know you're out there; you know who you are.

Rich.

Creamy.

Decadent.

Good on almost anything.

Zowie.

 

Eateateateat!

 

Ok.  Now that food has been served, I will tag off.... right... now!  Hi, L!

 

P.S.  Get a cheeseburger with onions, mustard, lettuce and tomato at Griff's in Denver.  Ye, Gods.  You can't miss.

Hello, World!

Thought I'd shout out to a few places that have been visiting lately.

 

Hello to: Beijing, Morocco, Raleigh - North Carolina (hello, North Carolina State), Phoenix, Boston, Florida, Denver AND Parker, Colorado, Northern and Southern California, New York City, Germany,  Falls Church AND Herndon, Virginia (waves to the Feds), Cincinnati and Maumee, Ohio, Hong Kong, and the home of the Simpsons (pick a Springfield).  Happy 18 years!  God, that's a long time for ANY show.

 

Thanks, everybody! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Boing Baby Boing

Again, I hate to be so quick, but it's late, I'm tired, and rapidly turning into a pumpkin.

 

Ultra-violent Charlie Brown student film.

 

EFF: How to keep your search private.

 

Online sleuthing leads to capture of JonBenet murder suspect. (yeah, right.  I think that one's a trap.)

 

and finally...

 

As with liquids, TSA bans motherf(bleep!)ing snakes from planes.

 

All stories can be found in Boing Boing.  I love Boing Boing.  It's like that one sweater that you have that doesn't shrink, is the perfect color, and never, EVER goes out of style.  Stay classy.

 

I must, however, end today's post, since tomorrow is August 18, 2006, with this:

 

A man, and a plane full of deadly snakes.

What are you gonna do?

 

Either you get it, or you don't.

 

 

 

 

Something I Have Always Suspected

Needless to say, I wasn't surprised by this in the least.

 

How can one explain the phenomenal global success of one of this country's least talented individuals? There are only three ways.

• Mr. Hasselhoff actually is talented, but this goes unnoticed in his own country.
  
• Mr. Hasselhoff has sold his soul to Satan in return for global success.
  
• David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist.

I vote for the latter -- and perhaps, after seeing the facts involved, the rest of the world will agree.

Yes, it's David Hasselhoff is the AntiChrist.  Yes.  Suddenly everything makes sense.  Why didn't I think of that before?  Thank the Stupid Site Hall of Fame for this link.

 

I spend too much time on the Internet.

 

 

For The Discriminating Vampire Slayer....

Dammit!  How did I miss this?  For sale on eBay:

 

You are bidding on a 19th century Vampire Killing Kit. No reserve auction !

The box weights 20.1 lbs., length 16.8 inches, width 17 inches, height 7.9 inches;made of linden tree with maroon velvet inside, six compartments. The items enclosed in the box are as followed: one wooden hammer ( 6.5 inches long), four stakes 6 inches-each) --- the wooden hammer has applied a small holy cross, same as the stakethe lower side containing: prayer book, crucifix, knife and eight bottles with Pamant (holy soil), Agheazma (holy water), Mir (anointing oil), Tamaie (holy incense), Ust(garlic), red serum, blue serum and secret potion. We believe a romanian monk from Transylvania has created this box during the period of 1870-1890 .

Where did I find this, you ask?  Betuman.  Yeah.  I get around.

 

Darn, and that would have made a PERFECT Mother's Day present, although I think my Dad might have dug that more.

 

Typically, this is the part where I'd make some crack about Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, and why don't they make shows like that anymore (Vampires?  Pretty girls?  Kung-Fu?  Lesbians?  How is that not the perfect show?), but instead, because I haven't done it in a while, I think that I'll just post a link to these generally safe for work pictures of Alyson Hannigan instead.  Go Willow!

 

 

Monkeys!

Is there nothing that we can't learn from them?

Lecturers and students from the University of Plymouth wanted to test the claim that an infinite number of monkeys given typewriters would create the works of The Bard.

A single computer was placed in a monkey enclosure at Paignton Zoo to monitor the literary output of six primates.

But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s".

Now, considering this, what have we learned?

1.  Monkeys like the letter "s".

2.  Monkeys like poop.

3.  Computers are excellent recepticles for holding poop.

 

Here's the part that I liked the most:

 

Director of the university's Institute of Digital Arts and Technology (i-DAT), Mike Phillips, denied the project was a disaster and said they had learned "an awful lot".

He also denied it had been a waste of money.

Props to The BBC News for both of these snippets.

 

Now, considering this, what have we learned?

 

4.  People will pay for anything.

 

Personally, I think that the experiment was flawed.  The sample size was terribly, terribly small, given the theory.  I don't suppose, however, that an infinite amount of monkeys probably was available.  And if the one computer was running Windows 98, well, I can see why the monkeys would be upset.

 

However, the message of the story is clear.

 

Step 1: Go outside and get away from this screen.

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit!

 

Go forth, and live.

 

 

 

 

 

Super Uber Geek Joke

Because  I am a geek, and somewhat proud of it:

 

Toast.

 

Read at your own risk, geekboys.