Protecting The Children Goes Haywire

This simply is not a good time to be a teenager. 

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - A 17-year-old Sheboygan boy is facing criminal charges after allegedly fathering a child with his 16-year-old girlfriend.

Kou Yang is charged in Sheboygan County with repeated sexual assault of a child. The charge carries a maximum 25 years in prison.

Thank the Star Tribune, with a hat tip to Fark.

Having children when you, yourself, is a child?  Stupid.
Being part of a legal system that will charge a child with aggravated sexual assault when the two have been dating for three years?  Unbelievably stupid.

Let's hope that not everyone involved in this case is completely off their rocker.

Well Played, Ms. Calhoun

The funniest quote of the week comes from Patricia Calhoun, editor of the Westword, Denver's weekly alternative newspaper, during a trial where the weekly was sued by some guy named Steve Horner (who, naturally, lost) who decided that ladies' nights at bars were a violation of his civil rights and newspaper advertising those promotions were violating state civil rights laws:

"I'm running to the ladies room." Turning to Horner, she added, "You don't object, do you?"

Thank the Rocky Mountain News for this.  Then thank Fark for the hat tip.

I'm not sure what's wrong with that guy, and in fact, I don't even like bars (who wants to be the old guy in the club?!), but I have a feeling that cheap drinks at Denver bars probably won't help his attitude.

How To Create a Successful Web Community: The Video

Here's an interesting video involving some of the most successful web communities.

 

At the CommunityNext conference I moderated this panel with the founders of six very successful web properties:

1. Akash Garg of hi5

2. Sean Suhl of Suicide Girls

3. Max Levchin of Slide

4. James Hong of HotorNot

5. Markus Frind of PlentyofFish

6. Drew Curtis of Fark

For this you can thank Guy Kawaski's excellent blog, How To Change The World.  Here's a guy that I've been reading for EVER, for God's sake, but only in the last couple of weeks did I realize that he had a blog.  Lucky me.  Thank you, Guy.

 

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.  It's also an excellent way to learn.  The above mentioned entrepreneurs represent some of the best.

 

 

 

and Google Said, "Let There Be Light!"

...and there was light...

 

In a speech Friday night to the Annual American Association for the Advancement of Science conference, Google co-founder Larry Page let slip with a truth we all suspected:

"We have some people at Google [who] are really trying to build artificial intelligence (AI) and to do it on a large scale…It's not as far off as people think."

Yep, you read that right, Google is trying to build real AI. The worlds most dominant online company, with the largest conglomeration of computing power the world has ever seen, is trying to build artificial intelligence, and according to Page it isn't that far away either.

Where?  901am.com.  Hat tip:  Fark.

 

Everyone, I mean, EVERYONE who has read anything about Google in the last few years, and I've made enough posts about Google for them to merit their own label, for God's sake, knew this was coming.

 

I just hope that I'm on their good side.  I think that I might be.

 

But... To Serve Man... it was a cookbook, you know.

 

 

 

I Will Never Get Money From The Tobacco Lobby

That's concentrated evil.

 

EUGENE, Ore. — An Oregon State University study suggests that anti-smoking ads by the tobacco industry targeted at youths and their parents do not work and might actually encourage some teens to smoke.

At best, the ads have no effect, said Brian Flay, a professor in Oregon State's department of public health in Corvallis, one of nine researchers who studied tobacco-industry ads. He said some ads, particularly those aimed at parents, may actually encourage smoking.

Cigarette maker Philip Morris USA disputes the results. Philip Morris says not only has it spent $1 billion to develop and disseminate advertising aimed at deterring youth smoking but it also has research that shows the ads work. It says the ads are based on widely accepted research and don't carry hidden messages.

That's the Seattle Times.  Via Fark, and oh, how Fark rocks.

 

People:

1.  Tell your children not to smoke.

2.  Tell them more than once.

3.  If you smoke, try like Hell to quit.  It will kill you.

4.  If you don't smoke, don't give people Hell that do.  Believe me, they want to quit and can't.  Be encouraging if you can, though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, The Excuse We All Wanted

Too much exercise can be bad for you.

 

"The real sweet spot, as you would expect there to be in any biologic system, is around an hour a day," said Dr. Mehmet Oz, a surgeon at Columbia University and co-author of "You: The Owner's Manual." "After that, it's hard to show a great benefit."

There are no widely accepted recommendations for when adults should lay off exercising partly because health officials are worried about Americans being too sedentary, not too active. But it's also difficult to say with precision when healthy exercise becomes unhealthy among a population that includes extremes from triathletes to couch potatoes.

"It's so idiosyncratic, that's the tough thing about it," said Carl Foster, a professor of exercise and sports science at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse.

William Haskell, professor at the Stanford School of Medicine, says that in general the risk of harm begins to outweigh the benefits for adults after more than an hour a day. Above an hour, it's questionable whether you're going to get much more from it, he said.

 

ABC News.  Via Fark.

That makes sense in my worldview.  Moderation, baby.

 

Caption Of The Week

First, let's look at the article.

 

Birdwatchers rushed excitedly to see a swallow that hasn't been seen in Britain for 20 years - then got a nasty surprise when eaten by a hawk in front of their eyes.

 

Article in Metro UK.  Found via Fark.

 

Now, *ahem*, the picture and caption.

 

 

A sparrowhawk: I'M IN UR SKIEZ,

EATIN UR SWALL0WZ

 

No, seriously.

That caption was, "I'M IN UR SKIEZ, EATIN UR SWALLOWZ"

 

Those that don't understand this particular Internet meme should take a look at this post on Boing Boing .

I love the parrot in the macaroni.  I'm not sure why.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Quote of the Day

Yeah, I know.  Someone set us up the bomb.

 

WASHINGTON, Oct. 9 — North Korea came under international condemnation today after boasting that it had tested a nuclear weapon, with strong criticism even from its allies, but there were doubts in the intelligence community about the strength of the device.

 

The United Nations Security Council today began working on a resolution condemning North Korea's action, shortly after President Bush denounced the announcement of the test as a "provocative act," one that requires an "immediate response."

 

Mr. Bush said he had spoken this morning to the leaders of China, South Korea, Russia and Japan, and that they were all agreed that North Korea's actions "are unacceptable and deserve an immediate response."

 

From the NYT.

 

Yippie.  Things were going so well from an international perspective anyway.  Yay.  Hooray.  Hug your kids and enjoy life now, boys and girls.  The real fun is just about to begin.  You thought that the War On Terror ^TM has been exciting?  Just wait.

 

Which leads to my verbatim quote in the comments from Fark on this wonderful development (reprinted with attribution):

 

"rka: Jesus Christ, if India and Pakistan can both explode nukes and not use them on each other despite *their* history I think this situation can be handled without Seoul be leveled or thousands of US soldiers invading or millions of Koreans dieing."

2006-10-09 01:42:56 AM

thejoyofpi

"Crucial difference: Neither India nor Pakistan are ruled by batshiat insane Bond-villain wannabes."

 

Yes, you read that right.

 

Where's Superman when you need him?

 

 

 

Neither Christian Nor Cool

Fred Phelps.  Loathsome.

 

Fred Phelps and friends plan to protest the Amish murder victims' funerals. Dumbass tag is the strongest we have, sadly

 

Headline from Fark.  Original article in CNS , which is at present, farked.

 

 

Oh, wait.

 

The Westboro Baptist Church -- described as a hate group by the Anti-Defamation League -- has made a name for itself by picketing the funerals of U.S. troops killed in Iraq. The troops are dying as punishment for America's tolerance of homosexuality, the group says.

The Westboro group says the Amish school girls were "killed by a madman in punishment for Gov. Ed Rendell's blasphemous sins against Westboro Baptist Church.

 

Fred Phelps.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If my kung-fu is strong, this is the last post you'll get from me, Phelps.

Hopefully those won't blow up the website.

 

Update!  Apparently, Phelps and the clan are NOT going to show up.  The cost, however, is high.

The controversial anti-homosexual Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., has canceled its plans to stage a protest at the funerals of the five Amish girls executed in their Pennsylvania school, a church official said Wednesday.

Shirley Phelps-Roper, the daughter of church's pastor, told FOXNews.com the group canceled the protests in exchange for an hour of radio time Thursday on syndicated talk-show host Mike Gallagher's radio program.

Fox News.

 

Ah, that's an idea.  Give them a bully pulpit.

Brilliant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well Dunn

Only vaguely interesting is that Patricia Dunn, one of the most powerful women in corporate America, has quit.

 

HP Chairwoman Dunn to Step Down in January, to Be Succeeded by CEO Mark Hurd; Shares Up

SAN JOSE, Calif. (AP) -- Hewlett-Packard Co. said Tuesday that Patricia Dunn will step down as chairwoman of the computer and printer maker in January amid a widening scandal involving a possibly illegal probe into media leaks. She will be succeeded by CEO Mark Hurd.

 

Via Yahoo News.

 

Much more interesting?  The analysis in the comments from Fark.

grunge

14.92 for 5ml of ink
14.92 / 5 = 2.98
2.98 for 1ml

1 US gallon = 3785.4118 ml

2.98 x 3785.4118 = $11298.668

Printer ink costs $11298.67 per gallon.

 

Sweet Mother of GOD.  $11,298.67 A GALLON?!

Now THAT'S expensive paint.

 

 

 

 

 

Amusing...kinda

I found this totally, completely, and completely obvious.

PITTSBURGH - A city attorney is suing the creator of a Web site that lets women dish dirt on men they claim have wronged them, saying they made defamatory statements about him.

Attorney Todd J. Hollis sued because he contends two Pittsburgh-area women and other anonymous users posted items about him on http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com in which they claim he is unfaithful, among other things, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported Thursday.

Yahoo News.  Via, surprise of surprises, Fark.  Remember, kids!  You have to sign up to see the comments!

 

Typically, I'm in favor of a little tit-for-tat.  But how surprised can anyone be when they run a website like this in our hyper-litigous society?

I'm not going to defend the guy, though.

 

And... uh... I probably won't go to the website.  Probably, anyway.

.

.

.

 

 

Baseball Suc... No, Wait

This is an act of kindness in major league baseball that I simply won't forget.

 

Matt LaChappa hasn't thrown a pitch professionally in 10 years. He is confined to a wheelchair, and constrained by the physical fallout from back-to-back heart attacks.

Yet the Padres continue to pay him as if he were an active player. It might be the noblest thing they do.

From SignOnSanDiego.com.  Found via Fark. 

 

Wait.  There's more.

 

"When he was drafted and he came into the office to sign, I've never seen such a troop of tribal people," Oppenheimer said. "I think he was the first full-blooded American Indian ever drafted."

Oppenheimer assured LaChappa's parents then that they needn't worry about their teenage son because, "I'll take care of him." Three years later, when LaChappa was stricken in the bullpen in Rancho Cucamonga, Oppenheimer proved even better than her word.

Narrowly interpreting a vague promise by then-CEO Larry Lucchino that LaChappa would "always be a Padre," Oppenheimer kept the young player on the club payroll and placed pictures of him on her desk.

"He's my hero," she said yesterday. "He was always up. He had a good personality, a good sense of humor. He was cheerful. It made you feel good to be around him.

Dear Ms. Oppenheimer:

 

Who knows what other things the San Deigo Padres might do, but today, Priscilla Oppenheimer, you win at life.

 

Warmest regards,

Humanity

P.S.:  We hate steroids.  Get them out of baseball, thanks.

 

The Bane of Existence

Is it jury duty?

 

COLUMBUS, Ohio - A man made a mockery of the justice system when he tried to get removed from a jury pool in a death penalty case by claiming he is a heroin addict and a killer, a judge said.

 

Benjamin Ratliffe, 21, of Columbus, was charged with contempt of court and obstruction of justice and ordered to spend a night in jail.

 

 

Yahoo News.  However, if you really want to read some hilarious reponses to this, head over to Fark.

I am not a big fan of the American system of justice, for several reasons:

 

1.  If have enough money, you can almost always beat the rap, unless it's insider trading, fraud, or tax evasion.

2.  The death penalty is a travesty of American justice, because it disproportonately is used against minorities and the poor.  States shouldn't be in death business, anyway.

3.  I actually went to law school for a little while, and it was probably my biggest mistake.  True quote from an attorney friend of mine:  "Clark, you seem like a nice guy.  Why the hell would you want to be a lawyer?!"

 

Granted, the American legal system is still probably one of the best, if not the best, in the world.  But let's be real.  The rich people make all the rules.  That's it.

 

Of course, I've never had jury duty.  I hear that's it's horrific, however.

 

I'd like to think that I'd go if called.

 

But, you know, sometimes I'm not quite sure.

RIP Billy Preston

Dang.  Billy Preston died today.

Billy Preston (September 9, 1946 – June 6, 2006) was a soul musician from Houston, Texas and raised mostly in Los Angeles, California. He began playing piano while sitting on his mother's lap at age three. Preston collaborated with some of the greatest names in the music industry, including The Beatles, Sam Cooke, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Eric Clapton, Sammy Davis Jr., Sly Stone, Aretha Franklin, George Harrison, The Jackson 5, Quincy Jones, Bob Dylan, and The Rolling Stones. He was the only person to receive a credit on a Beatles single, playing the organ on 'Get Back' as part of the rooftop concert.

 

Via Wikipedia, and thank Fark.

 

Well, that's definitely a downer.

Guess it's time to listen to Nothing From Nothing.

 

 

Update: Then: What?! A Cure For Cancer? Now: Uh Oh....

Does anyone remember the "What?!  A Cure For Cancer?" post I did a while back dealing with the possibility of a vaccine for cervical cancer?

 

Whoa, not so fast there, Sparky.

 

Imagine a vaccine that would protect women from a serious gynecological cancer. Wouldn't that be great? Well, both Merck and GlaxoSmithKline recently announced that they have conducted successful trials of vaccines that protect against the human papilloma virus. HPV is not only an incredibly widespread sexually transmitted infection but is responsible for at least 70 percent of cases of cervical cancer, which is diagnosed in 10,000 American women a year and kills 4,000. Wonderful, you are probably thinking, all we need to do is vaccinate girls (and boys too for good measure) before they become sexually active, around puberty, and HPV--and, in thirty or forty years, seven in ten cases of cervical cancer--goes poof. Not so fast: We're living in God's country now. The Christian right doesn't like the sound of this vaccine at all. "Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful," Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council told the British magazine New Scientist, "because they may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex.

 

The Nation.  What a mag.  Found off of Fark.

 

Uh.  Well.

*drumming fingers on desk, obviously needing a moment to compose himself...*

.

.

.

 

Surely, surely, you're not telling me that the United State of America is not going to save people's lives, women's lives, because a vaccine that protects against HPV might make it safer to engage in sex?  No, excuse me, premarital sex?

No, seriously.

 

So, then are you saying that there is going to be a political battle over this?

 

Really?

Oh, really?

Yeah, right.  My daughter is getting vaccinated.  You just try and stop me.

Once again, I'm embarrassed for the state of humanity today.  I'd rant and rave about how many people's lives could be saved (approximately 275,000), and spout off a bunch more fact and figures, but I'm tired.  So very tired.  Wake me when the Bird Flu hits.

 

 

 

 

 

How People Get Large

Oh, you're going to LOVE this .

 

This small storefront restaurant in a black community on the edge of downtown Atlanta is where serious lovers of Southern cuisine have come for their regular fix of comfort foods for more than half a century. It also represents the kind of eateries all over the South that provide the greatest challenge to doctors and nutritionists fighting to change the calorie-laden, fat-filled diets of Southerners.

Found on Sun Sentinel.com.  Via, of course, Fark.

 

One of the most popular items on the menu at Mulligan's bar in suburban Decatur, Ga., is the ``hamdog,'' a half-pound of hamburger meat wrapped around a hotdog, which is deep-fried and served on a hoagie topped with chili, bacon and a fried egg. The bar also offers the ``Luther,'' a half-pound burger served with bacon and cheese on a Krispy Kreme donut, and, for dessert, fried Twinkies, two deep-fried Kap'n Crunch-coated Twinkies topped with chocolate and cherry sauce.

 

 

Dear God in Heaven!  Can that be true?

 

I can feel my arteries harden just be READING that.

 

 

 

 

 

Not Again. Please God, Not Again.

Uh, no.  Nooooooooooo!

 

ORLANDO, Fla. - President Bush suggested Wednesday that he'd like to see his family's White House legacy continue, perhaps with his younger brother Jeb as the chief executive.

The president said Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is well-suited for another office and would make "a great president."

Via MSNBC.  Hat tip:  Fark.

 

Here's an idea that I can get behind.  No more Bushes, no more Clintons.  Let's just, you know, figure out some decent candidates next time around.  Please?  I'm begging, here.  Please.

 

Of course, ideally, the person that should be President is probably way, way too smart to run.

 

President Oprah?

 

There's an interesting idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome To Colorado!

Let's all give a warm welcome to terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui, whose jury (wisely) decided NOT to put to death today!  Congratulations, Zacarias! (props, FoxNews, via Fark).

Rod, let's tell him what he's won!  Is it Supermax?

 

ADX Florence is generally home to between 400 and 500 male prisoners. About 22 percent of inmates have killed fellow prisoners in other correctional facilities; 35 percent have attempted to attack other prisoners or guards. As a result, most individuals are kept for at least 23 hours each day in solitary confinement. They are housed in a 7-by-12 foot ( 3.5-by-2 meter) soundproofed room, built behind a steel door and grate. The remaining free hour is spent exercising alone in a separate concrete chamber. Prisoners rarely see each other, and inmates' only human interaction is limited to that of the prison guards. Religious services are broadcasted in from a small chapel.

Most cells' furniture is made almost entirely out of poured concrete, including a desk, stool, and bed covered by a thin mattress. Each chamber contains a toilet that shuts off if plugged, a shower that runs on a timer to prevent flooding, and a sink missing a potentially dangerous tap. Rooms may also be fitted with polished steel mirrors bolted to the wall, an electric light, a 13-inch black and white television , and a cigarette lighter. Windows in rooms are small, set high up in the wall, and point towards the sky, confusing the prisoner as to his specific location within the complex.

The prison as a whole contains countless motion detectors and cameras , 1,400 remote-controlled steel doors, and 12 foot high razor wire fences. Laser beams , pressure pads, and attack dogs guard the area between the prison walls and razor wire. Built into the side of a mountain, visitors and prisoners enter through a heavily-guarded tunnel.

Uh....

Many have argued that the psychological effects of long-term solitary confinement can be devastating. Prisoners may suffer from hallucinations, anxiety, problems with impulse control, and self-mutilation. In addition, confinement may encourage anger and rage, resulting in further violence. Depression may set in, with prisoners becoming extremely lethargic, losing memory, and refusing to exercise.

 

(hello, Wikipedia.)

...and he wins...a fate worse than death.

 

Goodnight, funnyman.  Say hi to Ted, Matt, and the...oh, wait.  Guess you can't.

Absolutely, Positively, The Most Useful Page You'll Read This Year

And I'm not kidding:

 

I want a Freeware Utility to ... 450+ common problems solved.

Extremely useful free utilities that do specific jobs really well and save time and money.

Open Source Software is listed separately.

 

Behold the beauty, and the terrible, terrible power that is Fark.

 

Do not lose this post.  Bookmark the above link.  Use it.  Love it.  Do not forget it.

Rockwell Was Right

...at least if you're on the Internet.

« Questions »

Is the FBI compiling a list of critics of the PATRIOT Act?

Does the FBI have one or more agents working full-time on promoting the PATRIOT Act (someone who could be catching criminals)?

from the SpeakSpeak News, via Fark.

<<Answers>>

Maybe.

Probably. 

Response:  No surprise.  Is there any reason that we should be?

I admit, I had to link this just to see how many more government hits I get today.  We'll see!
...uh...right after I get done waving this American flag, here. 
Hm.  Hot dogs and apple pie sound good for dinner, tonight.  Yummy!