A Definitive Response To 6 Sneaky Ways to a Better-Looking Partner

Many years ago, I knew a woman that I'll call Jill.  Jill was an attractive woman, more intelligent than most, who was at heart, a nice and relatively well meaning person with an interesting personality and a decent person.  She was a good cook, a loyal individual, and a snappy dresser.  In short, she was a great catch for just about anyone.

Unfortunately, she had one major flaw. 

I'll call it "The Cosmo Factor".

Everything that she knew about men she seemed to cull from the pages of women's magazines.  Cosmopolitan, Elle, and others were a continual staple of her reading diet.  If she wanted to know how to impress a man?  Cosmo had an article with the goods.  Why did men leave their girlfriends?  The answer was in Allure.  Any and all answers to all of the burning questions surrounding the classic, awesome, and continual Battle Of The Sexes could be found in a pop culture magazine geared towards women.  Each magazine contained to the gospel to her.  None of her male friends had the courage to tell her how wrong those periodicals were, though... much to our detriment.

Eventually, we drifted apart.

Enter 2007.  To my horror, I read an Internet article titled 6 Sneaky Ways to a Better-Looking Partner , and God help me, the first person that I thought of was her.  Here's the intro, via Yahoo.

Pride may be one of the Seven Deadly Sins, but your lover's lack of pride in how he looks can be even deadlier - to your love life, that is.

Sure, dedication, intelligence, and a sense of humor are what really stir the chemistry between you, but that doesn't mean you don't want your partner to feel like they're on top of their game, looks-wise.

After all, a confident partner is a sexually motivated partner, and sometimes an extra dose of sensuality is all a relationship needs to go to the next level. But beware: Goosing your loved one into taking better care of himself can be dicey territory, and even the most polite suggestion that "maybe you need to lose a few pounds" can lead to somebody sleeping on the couch for a week.

The solution? Sneaky partner upgrades, the kind that are good for his or her health, as well as their libido. So if you want to motivate your partner to dress sharper, eat better, and get their butt down to the gym, you need to take a stealth approach. Here's how to save their ego - and perhaps your love life.

As I read this, I stifled a scream.  Please, not the return of women again trying to change their men.  Aren't divorce rates high enough in this country and others?  Isn't the level of resentment, among men and women, high enough, finally?  Doesn't anyone believe that men can read?

So, for this article, I award this comment on the article 6 Sneaky Ways to a Better-Looking Partner:

You have failed.

At no time in recent memory, has an article failed more than this one.

Please, never do this again.