How People Get Large

Oh, you're going to LOVE this .

 

This small storefront restaurant in a black community on the edge of downtown Atlanta is where serious lovers of Southern cuisine have come for their regular fix of comfort foods for more than half a century. It also represents the kind of eateries all over the South that provide the greatest challenge to doctors and nutritionists fighting to change the calorie-laden, fat-filled diets of Southerners.

Found on Sun Sentinel.com.  Via, of course, Fark.

 

One of the most popular items on the menu at Mulligan's bar in suburban Decatur, Ga., is the ``hamdog,'' a half-pound of hamburger meat wrapped around a hotdog, which is deep-fried and served on a hoagie topped with chili, bacon and a fried egg. The bar also offers the ``Luther,'' a half-pound burger served with bacon and cheese on a Krispy Kreme donut, and, for dessert, fried Twinkies, two deep-fried Kap'n Crunch-coated Twinkies topped with chocolate and cherry sauce.

 

 

Dear God in Heaven!  Can that be true?

 

I can feel my arteries harden just be READING that.

 

 

 

 

 

Prisons

Haven't posted from this site in a while.  Says The Agitator...

 

According to new data from the U.S. Department of Justice, one in 136 Americans is behind bars today, including an astounding 12 percent of all black men between the ages of 25 and 29. The United States represents 4.6 percent of the world's population, but houses nearly 23 percent of humanity's prison population.

 

Sickening, isn't it?

 

Here, let me sicken you some more.

 

Blacks represent about 12 percent of the U.S. population, but 48 percent of the prison population. They represent just 13 percent of drug users, but 38 percent of those arrested for drug crimes, and 59 percent of those convicted.

When convicted of the same drug felony, blacks are about 50 percent more likely to be sentenced to prison than whites.

 

Yay!  Seriously, go read the whole article.

 

Ok.  Let's say this: when you're spending so many of your resources on prisons, instead of something like, say, quality public education, you're having issues as a community.  Paying for private education for your kids is DAMN EXPENSIVE.  Really it is.

 

How long until the Revolution starts?

 

Buy canned goods and duct tape.

 

 

 

 

The Gift

Dear Mom:

 

This comes a bit late, because I spent most of my day with you yesterday.  However, I'm pretty confident that you'll read this soon.

 

I wanted to thank you for being such a great mom.  Sure, we've had disagreements.  I believe that every family does.  But the truth is that you are one of the best, most intellegent, most thoughtful, and best people that I know, period.  Without you, I wouldn't be... me.  I'd be someone else.  I'd probably be a lot darker, a lot more confused, and a little bit scarier. 

 

All of my friends think that you are one of the best people that they know. 

People like to hang out with my family largely because of you. 

 

I know that you're not perfect, and no one is, but I can definitely see the sacrifices that you made to make me who I am.  This was your gift to my brother and I, and we know it.  In fact, we know it more than we will ever tell you.

 

I love you, Mom, and will always appreciate you.  I can't say that enough.  You are my sister, my mother, my daughter's grandmother, and my friend, and I can't wait to see you again.

 

Thank you.  Happy Mother's Day.

 

I couldn't possibly be more sincere.

 

 

 

Google Universe?

Google is in the process of releasing more products for free than is sane. 

 

To prove that point, Jonathan Rosenberg, SVP of product management, and Marissa Mayer, VP of search products and user experience, revealed four new software products to enhance the search experience: Google Co-Op, Google Desktop 4, Google Trends, and Google Notebook.

 

Via Information Week.

 

Here's the part that I thought was particularly interesting:

 

For Apple and Microsoft, this has to be a troubling development: More and more of the programs they sell in their operating systems are being offered free by Google. Moreover, these programs are open and they have APIs that developers can build on. And just as Amazon creates book recommendations based on user purchase history, Google plans to leverage its knowledge of its users to pitch programs that dovetail with their interests.

 

Google's high stock price in the last year:

$475.11.

 

Google's low stock price in the last year:

$227.32.

 

Opening this morning at:

$403.42.

 

News story found this morning via Google News.

 

Stock and financial information found via Google Finance.

 

Blog post sent via Gmail.

 

To Blogger.  Owned by Google.

 

Digest all that, people.

 

 

Not Again. Please God, Not Again.

Uh, no.  Nooooooooooo!

 

ORLANDO, Fla. - President Bush suggested Wednesday that he'd like to see his family's White House legacy continue, perhaps with his younger brother Jeb as the chief executive.

The president said Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is well-suited for another office and would make "a great president."

Via MSNBC.  Hat tip:  Fark.

 

Here's an idea that I can get behind.  No more Bushes, no more Clintons.  Let's just, you know, figure out some decent candidates next time around.  Please?  I'm begging, here.  Please.

 

Of course, ideally, the person that should be President is probably way, way too smart to run.

 

President Oprah?

 

There's an interesting idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Damn It, And I Love Sushi.

You've got to be kidding.  The Moonies are in the sushi business?

 

In the 1970s, Reverend Moon set his sites on creating an elaborate fishing enterprise to fund his church. The now global business does it all, from building the fishing boats to catching, processing, and delivering the fish. True World Foods, a subsidiary of the non-profit Unification Church International, supplies most of the sushi restaurants in the country, about 7,000 restaurants in all.

 

via Fast Company.

 

Sigh.  I love raw fish.  And I ain't stopping.  No.

Guess I'll just have to consider the source more often.

 

Just goes to show - everyone, and anyone, is into everything.  You can't escape, merely educate.

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome To Colorado!

Let's all give a warm welcome to terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui, whose jury (wisely) decided NOT to put to death today!  Congratulations, Zacarias! (props, FoxNews, via Fark).

Rod, let's tell him what he's won!  Is it Supermax?

 

ADX Florence is generally home to between 400 and 500 male prisoners. About 22 percent of inmates have killed fellow prisoners in other correctional facilities; 35 percent have attempted to attack other prisoners or guards. As a result, most individuals are kept for at least 23 hours each day in solitary confinement. They are housed in a 7-by-12 foot ( 3.5-by-2 meter) soundproofed room, built behind a steel door and grate. The remaining free hour is spent exercising alone in a separate concrete chamber. Prisoners rarely see each other, and inmates' only human interaction is limited to that of the prison guards. Religious services are broadcasted in from a small chapel.

Most cells' furniture is made almost entirely out of poured concrete, including a desk, stool, and bed covered by a thin mattress. Each chamber contains a toilet that shuts off if plugged, a shower that runs on a timer to prevent flooding, and a sink missing a potentially dangerous tap. Rooms may also be fitted with polished steel mirrors bolted to the wall, an electric light, a 13-inch black and white television , and a cigarette lighter. Windows in rooms are small, set high up in the wall, and point towards the sky, confusing the prisoner as to his specific location within the complex.

The prison as a whole contains countless motion detectors and cameras , 1,400 remote-controlled steel doors, and 12 foot high razor wire fences. Laser beams , pressure pads, and attack dogs guard the area between the prison walls and razor wire. Built into the side of a mountain, visitors and prisoners enter through a heavily-guarded tunnel.

Uh....

Many have argued that the psychological effects of long-term solitary confinement can be devastating. Prisoners may suffer from hallucinations, anxiety, problems with impulse control, and self-mutilation. In addition, confinement may encourage anger and rage, resulting in further violence. Depression may set in, with prisoners becoming extremely lethargic, losing memory, and refusing to exercise.

 

(hello, Wikipedia.)

...and he wins...a fate worse than death.

 

Goodnight, funnyman.  Say hi to Ted, Matt, and the...oh, wait.  Guess you can't.

For The Discriminating Vampire Slayer....

Dammit!  How did I miss this?  For sale on eBay:

 

You are bidding on a 19th century Vampire Killing Kit. No reserve auction !

The box weights 20.1 lbs., length 16.8 inches, width 17 inches, height 7.9 inches;made of linden tree with maroon velvet inside, six compartments. The items enclosed in the box are as followed: one wooden hammer ( 6.5 inches long), four stakes 6 inches-each) --- the wooden hammer has applied a small holy cross, same as the stakethe lower side containing: prayer book, crucifix, knife and eight bottles with Pamant (holy soil), Agheazma (holy water), Mir (anointing oil), Tamaie (holy incense), Ust(garlic), red serum, blue serum and secret potion. We believe a romanian monk from Transylvania has created this box during the period of 1870-1890 .

Where did I find this, you ask?  Betuman.  Yeah.  I get around.

 

Darn, and that would have made a PERFECT Mother's Day present, although I think my Dad might have dug that more.

 

Typically, this is the part where I'd make some crack about Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, and why don't they make shows like that anymore (Vampires?  Pretty girls?  Kung-Fu?  Lesbians?  How is that not the perfect show?), but instead, because I haven't done it in a while, I think that I'll just post a link to these generally safe for work pictures of Alyson Hannigan instead.  Go Willow!

 

 

The First Communion

A story for you all.

 

Yesterday was Sunday.  Typically, Sundays are really not special.  You know, people go to church, people watch football, people goof around outside.  Some people sleep.  That's Sunday.

 

However, yesterday was special.  Why?  Because my ex-girlfriend's daughter had asked me to go to her first communion at her church, and I pledged that I would, in fact, go, for her sake.

 

I have no idea if any of you have been to a first communion.  I hadn't.  But it was very interesting.  The idea is that instead of deacons or whatnot, children (all about the same age) read the passages from the Bible.  Now, I must say, I am not a Biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination.  However, I knew that these cute kids, all dressed up in their Sunday best, had little presentations that they had to give. 

 

Now, I had no idea where my ex's daughter was in this whole presentation, but I knew that she had to do something, because I had seen and heard her practice.  I knew she was kind of nervous.

 

Imagine my shock when right at the beginning of Mass, she was one of the first to read from the Bible!

 

Ok.  Here's something you should know.

 

When I first met my ex-girlfriend's daughter, she was not a good reader.  Diligently, as any father would, I would like to think, I worked with her.  Daily.  I bought educational videos.  I read phonics books to her, and lots and lots of Dr. Suess.  After a while, I could see her reading improving.  But not too long after that, her mother and I split up (after 2 plus years).

 

So, naturally I was shocked to see her up at the podium reading for the whole congregation.

 

I was so proud, I cried.

 

She will remember Sunday for the rest of her life, and I will too.  For the rest of my existence on this planet, I can look back on what she did on that podium, and be proud of myself, and of her.  Truly, I have accomplished something important.  Now I know exactly how my parents feel on certain days.

Monkeys!

Is there nothing that we can't learn from them?

Lecturers and students from the University of Plymouth wanted to test the claim that an infinite number of monkeys given typewriters would create the works of The Bard.

A single computer was placed in a monkey enclosure at Paignton Zoo to monitor the literary output of six primates.

But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s".

Now, considering this, what have we learned?

1.  Monkeys like the letter "s".

2.  Monkeys like poop.

3.  Computers are excellent recepticles for holding poop.

 

Here's the part that I liked the most:

 

Director of the university's Institute of Digital Arts and Technology (i-DAT), Mike Phillips, denied the project was a disaster and said they had learned "an awful lot".

He also denied it had been a waste of money.

Props to The BBC News for both of these snippets.

 

Now, considering this, what have we learned?

 

4.  People will pay for anything.

 

Personally, I think that the experiment was flawed.  The sample size was terribly, terribly small, given the theory.  I don't suppose, however, that an infinite amount of monkeys probably was available.  And if the one computer was running Windows 98, well, I can see why the monkeys would be upset.

 

However, the message of the story is clear.

 

Step 1: Go outside and get away from this screen.

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit!

 

Go forth, and live.

 

 

 

 

 

Think We'll All Get Snowed?

Ah, yes.  Really, wasn't it a no-brainer that the new White House Press Secretary would come from Fox News?

 

After several days of speculation, the inevitable has come to pass: Fox News bobble-head Tony Snow has agreed to take over as Scott McClellan's successor .Snow, who had recently battled colon cancer, was awaiting clearance from his doctors. He's expected to be introduced Wednesday morning as the next White House Press Secretary .

 

Props, Sploid.

 

You know what I really enjoy about politics these days?  You almost always know exactly what to expect.

 

I hate politics.  It makes me cranky.  I watch the news, I wish I hadn't, I go to bed, and stay awake all night long, my girlfriend becomes unhappy, then I just want to kick something, preferably in the groin.

 

Therefore, to combat the political bent that this post unfortunately took, just because I was in a bad mood, here :

 

How to get up when you really want to.

 

You may thank Lifehacker for that, because technically speaking, they rock.

 

 

 

Absolutely, Positively, The Most Useful Page You'll Read This Year

And I'm not kidding:

 

I want a Freeware Utility to ... 450+ common problems solved.

Extremely useful free utilities that do specific jobs really well and save time and money.

Open Source Software is listed separately.

 

Behold the beauty, and the terrible, terrible power that is Fark.

 

Do not lose this post.  Bookmark the above link.  Use it.  Love it.  Do not forget it.

Super Uber Geek Joke

Because  I am a geek, and somewhat proud of it:

 

Toast.

 

Read at your own risk, geekboys.

Careerism

Not everyone is into this, but I ran across an interesting article about careers today.

 

Careers don't just reflect which jobs are available, they represent who we are as people. Fast Company was founded on that notion (among others). The ensuing 10 years have seen everything from the rise of online job boards to the Brand Called You, the birth of blogs to offshoring. All of these developments have had a significant impact on the way we manage our careers--and the next 10 years promise to be just as dramatic. A number of technological and demographic trends still in their infancy will shape the way you develop and guide your professional life in the decade to come. Here's how to ride those waves.

 

via Fast Company.

 

Pitifully enough, lately I'm realizing that I need to get, and stay, ahead, so this piqued my interest.

 

 

 

Rockwell Was Right

...at least if you're on the Internet.

« Questions »

Is the FBI compiling a list of critics of the PATRIOT Act?

Does the FBI have one or more agents working full-time on promoting the PATRIOT Act (someone who could be catching criminals)?

from the SpeakSpeak News, via Fark.

<<Answers>>

Maybe.

Probably. 

Response:  No surprise.  Is there any reason that we should be?

I admit, I had to link this just to see how many more government hits I get today.  We'll see!
...uh...right after I get done waving this American flag, here. 
Hm.  Hot dogs and apple pie sound good for dinner, tonight.  Yummy!

The Definitive Free Software List?

Could it be?

There's not much to say about this one. It's a gigantic list of free software broken up into categories for easy browsing. Let's get ready to downloooooooad!

 

All hail Lifehacker.  God love 'em.

 

 

 

 

Drool.

Google is killing me lately.  I knew about this yesterday, but refused to post two Google posts on the same day in a row.

 

The TechCrunch blog has gotten ahold of some screenshots and a copy of the beta testing agreement for CL2, the long-rumored calendar application from Google. After a series of doctored shots, this certainly looks like the real deal, and you can go check out the login screen for yourself if you like. Unless you're one of the circa 200 users in the beta program, however, it won't get you very far. The screenshots of the inside show a simple, clean calendar with an interface style that echoes GMail rather closely, hinting at tight integration with the e-mail service.

 

Via Arstechnica.com.  Hat tip to ringloss.

 

In honor of this post, and the one just written yesterday, I would like to quote one of my favorite stories of all time.  When you read the capitalized initials, simply substitute the word, "Google".

 

Ahem.

"Matter and energy had ended and with it space and time. Even AC existed only for the sake of the one last question that it had never answered from the time a half-drunken computer [technician] ten trillion years before had asked the question of a computer that was to AC far less than was a man to Man.

All other questions had been answered, and until this last question was answered also, AC might not release his consciousness.

All collected data had come to a final end. Nothing was left to be collected.  But all collected data had yet to be completely correlated and put together in all possible relationships.

A timeless interval was spent in doing that.   And it came to pass that AC learned how to reverse the direction of entropy."

- Asimov, The Last Question

 

Admit It. You Knew It Was Coming.

Google.

 

Web giant Google is planning a massive online storage facility to encompass all users' files, it is reported. The plans were allegedly revealed accidentally after a blogger spotted notes in a slideshow presentation wrongly published on Google's site. The GDrive, previously the subject of chatroom rumour, would offer a mirror of users' hard drives, Reuters said. Google declined to comment on the reports but said the slide notes had now been deleted. In the notes, chief executive Eric Schmidt reportedly said Google's aim was to "store 100%" of users' information. The notes said: "With infinite storage, we can house all user files, including e-mails, web history, pictures, bookmarks, etc; and make it accessible from anywhere (any device, any platform, etc)."

 

Love to the BBC.

 

Not that I know if this is actually true or not, but I, for one, welcome our Googalian overlords, and would like to remind them that in my capacity as an experienced software analyst and rogue communicator,  I could be useful in rounding up others to toil in their pan-dimensional data werehouses.

 

Thank you.

 

 

Sweeeeeeeeeet.

Looks like they have released the new trailer for the movie X-Men: The Last Stand online.

Found this one via Digg.  Yeah, you heard me right.  Digg.com.  I gets around.

 

I'm looking forward to this one.  But am I looking forward to it as much as this?

 

"Gaaa!  Snakes!  On a plane!"

 

 

Book Bloggin'

Sigh.  I should have bought Lifehacker flowers for Valentine's Day.

 

The New York Times reports on previously-mentioned blog publishing software BookSmart, which will download and reformat your blog into book form, print and help you sell copies to your fawning readers and internet admirers.

 

Of course this is a good idea.

 

Speaking of which, I'm happy to say that I'm re-emerging into the world.  Hello, people.