SuperDad

I wouldn't mind it.  Being SuperDad, I mean.

 

Fortunately for me, with Father's Day coming, everyone and their mother is running self-improvement articles.  Courtesy of msn.com:

 

Learning to read is a process, one that requires mastering three basic skills. These skills are syntax, semantics, and phonics. Syntax (grammar and punctuation) is the way words, phrases, and clauses go together to create sentences and paragraphs. Semantics is the way words and sentences in a group relate to one another. Phonics refers to the sounds letters make and the relationship between written and spoken words, or comprehension.

 

This is from the Learning to Read section.  As you might imagine, there are a lot of sections.

 

Naturally, I plan on reading it all.  I will then index the information and enter it on my Palm Pilot (with time reminders), so that when the appropriate time comes, I can refer to it and use the information accordingly.

 

Or, instead, I might read it and play everything by ear, like my parents did.

It seemed to work.  So far.

 

 

 

I Like Picture Day

A friend of mine sent me these via email.

 

Warning:  This is good stuff. 

 

Pantagruel I

Pantagruel II

 

Ah, the stuff of nightmares.  Thanks to Lt. Wilkes for sending me the links.  At least I'll KNOW why I suddenly feel like detaching my forehead and feasting upon my own brains this evening.

 

Oh, and Lt.?  If you still have a site out there let me know.  I'd like to give you a plug.

$150 My Booty

Have an idea?  Is it booze-related?  People will buy it.

 

Modern Spirits is adding all sorts of crap to their vodkas in an effort to give demanding consumers a customized tipple at an equally impressive price. At $150, you'd better be thinking long and hard which flavors you want in this booze.

Gizmodo, who I haven't linked in a bit, deserves the credit for this one.

 

Perhaps I've been working too hard.  I'm changing my life's goal.

My new goal is:

 

To have a favorable article written about me or one of my products in Gizmodo.

 

I personally think that it's an achievable goal.  I've got ideas, (I even have a product out there or two), now I have to do is sell.  Directly.  To Gizmodo.

 

 

Alberto

PANIC.

 

TAMPA, Florida (AP) -- Forecasters issued a hurricane warning for parts of Florida's Gulf Coast on Monday as the first named storm of the 2006 Atlantic hurricane season quickly gained strength in the Gulf of Mexico.  The warning from Longboat Key near Sarasota to the Ochlockonee River south of Tallahassee means Tropical Storm Alberto was expected to produce hurricane conditions within the next 24 hours.

 

Via CNN.

 

My, that didn't take long.  Of course, I'm so jaded from last year that unless something is a Cat 3 I don't even start feeling fazed.  This is probably a poor attitude to have.  But the cycle of life continues.

 

Batten down the hatches.

 

 

Beer For Your Health

More good news for beer drinkers.

CORVALLIS, Ore. - A main ingredient in beer may help prevent prostate cancer and enlargement, according to a new study. But researchers say don't rush out to stock the refrigerator because the ingredient is present in such small amounts that a person would have to drink more than 17 beers to benefit.

 

Harumph. 

I suppose that I now have friends that are bulletproof.  Alas, no beer in my fridge.

 

 

 

Advanced Googlish

Lately, I've had the urge to find very specific information quickly.  Who wants to dig through acres of websites to find what it is that they want via the wonderful Google?

 

Not me.

 

Well, here's better Google searching for you.

 

Google (and many other search engines) has the ability not only to search on keywords, but also using a more "database-ish" query language to really narrow down your search results. Below is a summary of a few of the most useful lesser known features.

 

Hello, Cyberwyre.  Thanks be to Furl.

 

I suggest - no, insist - that people catch up on this.  Read this post.  Feast on the key information contain within.  Then, print the article contained at the site.  It will make your Google searching easier, quicker, and more productive.  Then you won't have to ask your Friendly Neighborhood Search Expert.

 

Excelsior!

...that was for the ubergeeks.  Nothing to see here, all you normal people.

 

Quick! To The Bar!

I've been waiting for this development, which is why stem cells rock.

 

A team of scientists and surgeons at a Melbourne hospital has developed a method of growing new organs within a patient's body. Previously, scientists had only been able to create two-dimensional constructions such as skin. But researchers at the Bernard O'Brien Institute of Microsurgery at Melbourne's St Vincent's Hospital say have created three-dimensional cells. The cells have been grown in a plastic chamber under the patients' skin.

 

Who?  ABC News Online.  Who saw it first?  Digg.

 

A few things come to mind.

1.  Hum.  No reason to quit smoking now.

2.  See the title.

3.  Uh... why didn't some other medical researchers, like, say, in the United States, figure this out first?

 

Oh yeah.  No public money for stem cell research in the U.S.  At least at Harvard.  How ridiculous is that?

Is personal stem cell harvesting available?

Can I invent it?

 

 

 

RIP Billy Preston

Dang.  Billy Preston died today.

Billy Preston (September 9, 1946 – June 6, 2006) was a soul musician from Houston, Texas and raised mostly in Los Angeles, California. He began playing piano while sitting on his mother's lap at age three. Preston collaborated with some of the greatest names in the music industry, including The Beatles, Sam Cooke, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Eric Clapton, Sammy Davis Jr., Sly Stone, Aretha Franklin, George Harrison, The Jackson 5, Quincy Jones, Bob Dylan, and The Rolling Stones. He was the only person to receive a credit on a Beatles single, playing the organ on 'Get Back' as part of the rooftop concert.

 

Via Wikipedia, and thank Fark.

 

Well, that's definitely a downer.

Guess it's time to listen to Nothing From Nothing.

 

 

Families and Today

Yep, that's right.  It's Memorial Day.

 

Continuing a tradition that I started last year, I believe that I'll post this link to last year's Memorial Day tribute. 

But I'm not going to leave you with just that.  No way.  In fact, let me post to this little Memorial Day nugget from the Huffington Post .

 

For veterans, Memorial Day has a very different meaning than it does for most Americans. As a veteran of the wars in Kosovo and Iraq, it is a day of reflection and remembrance like every day since I have returned. While many will enjoy the nice weather, have barbeques, and dip into a pool for the first time this year, we Iraq veterans will spend the day thinking about more than our friends we lost in battle, but also about those who survived them.

Hey, kids, remember: Memorial Day is not just for the veterans!

 

Memorial Day is not just about the veterans that died and were injured or returned (healthy) from various wars, but for the families that sacrificed so much to make sure that your happy behind had or has a chance to walk around.  Memorial Day started as a tribute to the Union survivors of the Civil War; since then, it has expanded as a holiday to to honor all of the dead of various wars.  Perhaps you could take just a moment to honor the living and dead soldiers of your country today.  Not that you should emulate me, but I will be doing my best to keep the word out.  Thus this is, for today, my humble offering for both the living and the dead.

 

Update: Then: What?! A Cure For Cancer? Now: Uh Oh....

Does anyone remember the "What?!  A Cure For Cancer?" post I did a while back dealing with the possibility of a vaccine for cervical cancer?

 

Whoa, not so fast there, Sparky.

 

Imagine a vaccine that would protect women from a serious gynecological cancer. Wouldn't that be great? Well, both Merck and GlaxoSmithKline recently announced that they have conducted successful trials of vaccines that protect against the human papilloma virus. HPV is not only an incredibly widespread sexually transmitted infection but is responsible for at least 70 percent of cases of cervical cancer, which is diagnosed in 10,000 American women a year and kills 4,000. Wonderful, you are probably thinking, all we need to do is vaccinate girls (and boys too for good measure) before they become sexually active, around puberty, and HPV--and, in thirty or forty years, seven in ten cases of cervical cancer--goes poof. Not so fast: We're living in God's country now. The Christian right doesn't like the sound of this vaccine at all. "Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful," Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council told the British magazine New Scientist, "because they may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex.

 

The Nation.  What a mag.  Found off of Fark.

 

Uh.  Well.

*drumming fingers on desk, obviously needing a moment to compose himself...*

.

.

.

 

Surely, surely, you're not telling me that the United State of America is not going to save people's lives, women's lives, because a vaccine that protects against HPV might make it safer to engage in sex?  No, excuse me, premarital sex?

No, seriously.

 

So, then are you saying that there is going to be a political battle over this?

 

Really?

Oh, really?

Yeah, right.  My daughter is getting vaccinated.  You just try and stop me.

Once again, I'm embarrassed for the state of humanity today.  I'd rant and rave about how many people's lives could be saved (approximately 275,000), and spout off a bunch more fact and figures, but I'm tired.  So very tired.  Wake me when the Bird Flu hits.

 

 

 

 

 

Pathetically Funny Comics

I should include this in the Addictive Time Wasters Series.

 

But this is actually better.

 

the Perry Bible Fellowship - These are good.  Not at all what you'd think from the title.  Believe me when I say this.

 

Achewood - hat tip:  ringloss.  Mostly male oriented, but stupid funny, which is probably the correct use of the term.

 

Snakes On A Plane - The Comic - I know, I know, I'm obsessed.

 

Get Your War On - Actually, might need to be seen in bulk to be believed.  Comic hi jinks in a office setting.  Read more than a few of these.

 

My suggestions.  If you've got more leave 'em somewhere that I can find them.

Images

As you might have been able to tell by the image file of the Hamdog, down below, I'm going to start tossing in a few images onto the site every now and then.

 

It's only kind of a pain, but not really.  It will force me to find a decent image host.  Google Pages, while good, is not the solution.

 

Suggestions, anyone, besides my hard drive?

How People Get Large

Oh, you're going to LOVE this .

 

This small storefront restaurant in a black community on the edge of downtown Atlanta is where serious lovers of Southern cuisine have come for their regular fix of comfort foods for more than half a century. It also represents the kind of eateries all over the South that provide the greatest challenge to doctors and nutritionists fighting to change the calorie-laden, fat-filled diets of Southerners.

Found on Sun Sentinel.com.  Via, of course, Fark.

 

One of the most popular items on the menu at Mulligan's bar in suburban Decatur, Ga., is the ``hamdog,'' a half-pound of hamburger meat wrapped around a hotdog, which is deep-fried and served on a hoagie topped with chili, bacon and a fried egg. The bar also offers the ``Luther,'' a half-pound burger served with bacon and cheese on a Krispy Kreme donut, and, for dessert, fried Twinkies, two deep-fried Kap'n Crunch-coated Twinkies topped with chocolate and cherry sauce.

 

 

Dear God in Heaven!  Can that be true?

 

I can feel my arteries harden just be READING that.

 

 

 

 

 

Prisons

Haven't posted from this site in a while.  Says The Agitator...

 

According to new data from the U.S. Department of Justice, one in 136 Americans is behind bars today, including an astounding 12 percent of all black men between the ages of 25 and 29. The United States represents 4.6 percent of the world's population, but houses nearly 23 percent of humanity's prison population.

 

Sickening, isn't it?

 

Here, let me sicken you some more.

 

Blacks represent about 12 percent of the U.S. population, but 48 percent of the prison population. They represent just 13 percent of drug users, but 38 percent of those arrested for drug crimes, and 59 percent of those convicted.

When convicted of the same drug felony, blacks are about 50 percent more likely to be sentenced to prison than whites.

 

Yay!  Seriously, go read the whole article.

 

Ok.  Let's say this: when you're spending so many of your resources on prisons, instead of something like, say, quality public education, you're having issues as a community.  Paying for private education for your kids is DAMN EXPENSIVE.  Really it is.

 

How long until the Revolution starts?

 

Buy canned goods and duct tape.

 

 

 

 

The Gift

Dear Mom:

 

This comes a bit late, because I spent most of my day with you yesterday.  However, I'm pretty confident that you'll read this soon.

 

I wanted to thank you for being such a great mom.  Sure, we've had disagreements.  I believe that every family does.  But the truth is that you are one of the best, most intellegent, most thoughtful, and best people that I know, period.  Without you, I wouldn't be... me.  I'd be someone else.  I'd probably be a lot darker, a lot more confused, and a little bit scarier. 

 

All of my friends think that you are one of the best people that they know. 

People like to hang out with my family largely because of you. 

 

I know that you're not perfect, and no one is, but I can definitely see the sacrifices that you made to make me who I am.  This was your gift to my brother and I, and we know it.  In fact, we know it more than we will ever tell you.

 

I love you, Mom, and will always appreciate you.  I can't say that enough.  You are my sister, my mother, my daughter's grandmother, and my friend, and I can't wait to see you again.

 

Thank you.  Happy Mother's Day.

 

I couldn't possibly be more sincere.

 

 

 

Google Universe?

Google is in the process of releasing more products for free than is sane. 

 

To prove that point, Jonathan Rosenberg, SVP of product management, and Marissa Mayer, VP of search products and user experience, revealed four new software products to enhance the search experience: Google Co-Op, Google Desktop 4, Google Trends, and Google Notebook.

 

Via Information Week.

 

Here's the part that I thought was particularly interesting:

 

For Apple and Microsoft, this has to be a troubling development: More and more of the programs they sell in their operating systems are being offered free by Google. Moreover, these programs are open and they have APIs that developers can build on. And just as Amazon creates book recommendations based on user purchase history, Google plans to leverage its knowledge of its users to pitch programs that dovetail with their interests.

 

Google's high stock price in the last year:

$475.11.

 

Google's low stock price in the last year:

$227.32.

 

Opening this morning at:

$403.42.

 

News story found this morning via Google News.

 

Stock and financial information found via Google Finance.

 

Blog post sent via Gmail.

 

To Blogger.  Owned by Google.

 

Digest all that, people.

 

 

Not Again. Please God, Not Again.

Uh, no.  Nooooooooooo!

 

ORLANDO, Fla. - President Bush suggested Wednesday that he'd like to see his family's White House legacy continue, perhaps with his younger brother Jeb as the chief executive.

The president said Florida Gov. Jeb Bush is well-suited for another office and would make "a great president."

Via MSNBC.  Hat tip:  Fark.

 

Here's an idea that I can get behind.  No more Bushes, no more Clintons.  Let's just, you know, figure out some decent candidates next time around.  Please?  I'm begging, here.  Please.

 

Of course, ideally, the person that should be President is probably way, way too smart to run.

 

President Oprah?

 

There's an interesting idea.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Damn It, And I Love Sushi.

You've got to be kidding.  The Moonies are in the sushi business?

 

In the 1970s, Reverend Moon set his sites on creating an elaborate fishing enterprise to fund his church. The now global business does it all, from building the fishing boats to catching, processing, and delivering the fish. True World Foods, a subsidiary of the non-profit Unification Church International, supplies most of the sushi restaurants in the country, about 7,000 restaurants in all.

 

via Fast Company.

 

Sigh.  I love raw fish.  And I ain't stopping.  No.

Guess I'll just have to consider the source more often.

 

Just goes to show - everyone, and anyone, is into everything.  You can't escape, merely educate.

 

 

 

 

 

Welcome To Colorado!

Let's all give a warm welcome to terrorist Zacarias Moussaoui, whose jury (wisely) decided NOT to put to death today!  Congratulations, Zacarias! (props, FoxNews, via Fark).

Rod, let's tell him what he's won!  Is it Supermax?

 

ADX Florence is generally home to between 400 and 500 male prisoners. About 22 percent of inmates have killed fellow prisoners in other correctional facilities; 35 percent have attempted to attack other prisoners or guards. As a result, most individuals are kept for at least 23 hours each day in solitary confinement. They are housed in a 7-by-12 foot ( 3.5-by-2 meter) soundproofed room, built behind a steel door and grate. The remaining free hour is spent exercising alone in a separate concrete chamber. Prisoners rarely see each other, and inmates' only human interaction is limited to that of the prison guards. Religious services are broadcasted in from a small chapel.

Most cells' furniture is made almost entirely out of poured concrete, including a desk, stool, and bed covered by a thin mattress. Each chamber contains a toilet that shuts off if plugged, a shower that runs on a timer to prevent flooding, and a sink missing a potentially dangerous tap. Rooms may also be fitted with polished steel mirrors bolted to the wall, an electric light, a 13-inch black and white television , and a cigarette lighter. Windows in rooms are small, set high up in the wall, and point towards the sky, confusing the prisoner as to his specific location within the complex.

The prison as a whole contains countless motion detectors and cameras , 1,400 remote-controlled steel doors, and 12 foot high razor wire fences. Laser beams , pressure pads, and attack dogs guard the area between the prison walls and razor wire. Built into the side of a mountain, visitors and prisoners enter through a heavily-guarded tunnel.

Uh....

Many have argued that the psychological effects of long-term solitary confinement can be devastating. Prisoners may suffer from hallucinations, anxiety, problems with impulse control, and self-mutilation. In addition, confinement may encourage anger and rage, resulting in further violence. Depression may set in, with prisoners becoming extremely lethargic, losing memory, and refusing to exercise.

 

(hello, Wikipedia.)

...and he wins...a fate worse than death.

 

Goodnight, funnyman.  Say hi to Ted, Matt, and the...oh, wait.  Guess you can't.

For The Discriminating Vampire Slayer....

Dammit!  How did I miss this?  For sale on eBay:

 

You are bidding on a 19th century Vampire Killing Kit. No reserve auction !

The box weights 20.1 lbs., length 16.8 inches, width 17 inches, height 7.9 inches;made of linden tree with maroon velvet inside, six compartments. The items enclosed in the box are as followed: one wooden hammer ( 6.5 inches long), four stakes 6 inches-each) --- the wooden hammer has applied a small holy cross, same as the stakethe lower side containing: prayer book, crucifix, knife and eight bottles with Pamant (holy soil), Agheazma (holy water), Mir (anointing oil), Tamaie (holy incense), Ust(garlic), red serum, blue serum and secret potion. We believe a romanian monk from Transylvania has created this box during the period of 1870-1890 .

Where did I find this, you ask?  Betuman.  Yeah.  I get around.

 

Darn, and that would have made a PERFECT Mother's Day present, although I think my Dad might have dug that more.

 

Typically, this is the part where I'd make some crack about Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, and why don't they make shows like that anymore (Vampires?  Pretty girls?  Kung-Fu?  Lesbians?  How is that not the perfect show?), but instead, because I haven't done it in a while, I think that I'll just post a link to these generally safe for work pictures of Alyson Hannigan instead.  Go Willow!

 

 

The First Communion

A story for you all.

 

Yesterday was Sunday.  Typically, Sundays are really not special.  You know, people go to church, people watch football, people goof around outside.  Some people sleep.  That's Sunday.

 

However, yesterday was special.  Why?  Because my ex-girlfriend's daughter had asked me to go to her first communion at her church, and I pledged that I would, in fact, go, for her sake.

 

I have no idea if any of you have been to a first communion.  I hadn't.  But it was very interesting.  The idea is that instead of deacons or whatnot, children (all about the same age) read the passages from the Bible.  Now, I must say, I am not a Biblical scholar by any stretch of the imagination.  However, I knew that these cute kids, all dressed up in their Sunday best, had little presentations that they had to give. 

 

Now, I had no idea where my ex's daughter was in this whole presentation, but I knew that she had to do something, because I had seen and heard her practice.  I knew she was kind of nervous.

 

Imagine my shock when right at the beginning of Mass, she was one of the first to read from the Bible!

 

Ok.  Here's something you should know.

 

When I first met my ex-girlfriend's daughter, she was not a good reader.  Diligently, as any father would, I would like to think, I worked with her.  Daily.  I bought educational videos.  I read phonics books to her, and lots and lots of Dr. Suess.  After a while, I could see her reading improving.  But not too long after that, her mother and I split up (after 2 plus years).

 

So, naturally I was shocked to see her up at the podium reading for the whole congregation.

 

I was so proud, I cried.

 

She will remember Sunday for the rest of her life, and I will too.  For the rest of my existence on this planet, I can look back on what she did on that podium, and be proud of myself, and of her.  Truly, I have accomplished something important.  Now I know exactly how my parents feel on certain days.

Monkeys!

Is there nothing that we can't learn from them?

Lecturers and students from the University of Plymouth wanted to test the claim that an infinite number of monkeys given typewriters would create the works of The Bard.

A single computer was placed in a monkey enclosure at Paignton Zoo to monitor the literary output of six primates.

But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s".

Now, considering this, what have we learned?

1.  Monkeys like the letter "s".

2.  Monkeys like poop.

3.  Computers are excellent recepticles for holding poop.

 

Here's the part that I liked the most:

 

Director of the university's Institute of Digital Arts and Technology (i-DAT), Mike Phillips, denied the project was a disaster and said they had learned "an awful lot".

He also denied it had been a waste of money.

Props to The BBC News for both of these snippets.

 

Now, considering this, what have we learned?

 

4.  People will pay for anything.

 

Personally, I think that the experiment was flawed.  The sample size was terribly, terribly small, given the theory.  I don't suppose, however, that an infinite amount of monkeys probably was available.  And if the one computer was running Windows 98, well, I can see why the monkeys would be upset.

 

However, the message of the story is clear.

 

Step 1: Go outside and get away from this screen.

Step 2: ???

Step 3: Profit!

 

Go forth, and live.

 

 

 

 

 

Think We'll All Get Snowed?

Ah, yes.  Really, wasn't it a no-brainer that the new White House Press Secretary would come from Fox News?

 

After several days of speculation, the inevitable has come to pass: Fox News bobble-head Tony Snow has agreed to take over as Scott McClellan's successor .Snow, who had recently battled colon cancer, was awaiting clearance from his doctors. He's expected to be introduced Wednesday morning as the next White House Press Secretary .

 

Props, Sploid.

 

You know what I really enjoy about politics these days?  You almost always know exactly what to expect.

 

I hate politics.  It makes me cranky.  I watch the news, I wish I hadn't, I go to bed, and stay awake all night long, my girlfriend becomes unhappy, then I just want to kick something, preferably in the groin.

 

Therefore, to combat the political bent that this post unfortunately took, just because I was in a bad mood, here :

 

How to get up when you really want to.

 

You may thank Lifehacker for that, because technically speaking, they rock.

 

 

 

Absolutely, Positively, The Most Useful Page You'll Read This Year

And I'm not kidding:

 

I want a Freeware Utility to ... 450+ common problems solved.

Extremely useful free utilities that do specific jobs really well and save time and money.

Open Source Software is listed separately.

 

Behold the beauty, and the terrible, terrible power that is Fark.

 

Do not lose this post.  Bookmark the above link.  Use it.  Love it.  Do not forget it.

Super Uber Geek Joke

Because  I am a geek, and somewhat proud of it:

 

Toast.

 

Read at your own risk, geekboys.

Careerism

Not everyone is into this, but I ran across an interesting article about careers today.

 

Careers don't just reflect which jobs are available, they represent who we are as people. Fast Company was founded on that notion (among others). The ensuing 10 years have seen everything from the rise of online job boards to the Brand Called You, the birth of blogs to offshoring. All of these developments have had a significant impact on the way we manage our careers--and the next 10 years promise to be just as dramatic. A number of technological and demographic trends still in their infancy will shape the way you develop and guide your professional life in the decade to come. Here's how to ride those waves.

 

via Fast Company.

 

Pitifully enough, lately I'm realizing that I need to get, and stay, ahead, so this piqued my interest.

 

 

 

Rockwell Was Right

...at least if you're on the Internet.

« Questions »

Is the FBI compiling a list of critics of the PATRIOT Act?

Does the FBI have one or more agents working full-time on promoting the PATRIOT Act (someone who could be catching criminals)?

from the SpeakSpeak News, via Fark.

<<Answers>>

Maybe.

Probably. 

Response:  No surprise.  Is there any reason that we should be?

I admit, I had to link this just to see how many more government hits I get today.  We'll see!
...uh...right after I get done waving this American flag, here. 
Hm.  Hot dogs and apple pie sound good for dinner, tonight.  Yummy!

The Definitive Free Software List?

Could it be?

There's not much to say about this one. It's a gigantic list of free software broken up into categories for easy browsing. Let's get ready to downloooooooad!

 

All hail Lifehacker.  God love 'em.

 

 

 

 

Drool.

Google is killing me lately.  I knew about this yesterday, but refused to post two Google posts on the same day in a row.

 

The TechCrunch blog has gotten ahold of some screenshots and a copy of the beta testing agreement for CL2, the long-rumored calendar application from Google. After a series of doctored shots, this certainly looks like the real deal, and you can go check out the login screen for yourself if you like. Unless you're one of the circa 200 users in the beta program, however, it won't get you very far. The screenshots of the inside show a simple, clean calendar with an interface style that echoes GMail rather closely, hinting at tight integration with the e-mail service.

 

Via Arstechnica.com.  Hat tip to ringloss.

 

In honor of this post, and the one just written yesterday, I would like to quote one of my favorite stories of all time.  When you read the capitalized initials, simply substitute the word, "Google".

 

Ahem.

"Matter and energy had ended and with it space and time. Even AC existed only for the sake of the one last question that it had never answered from the time a half-drunken computer [technician] ten trillion years before had asked the question of a computer that was to AC far less than was a man to Man.

All other questions had been answered, and until this last question was answered also, AC might not release his consciousness.

All collected data had come to a final end. Nothing was left to be collected.  But all collected data had yet to be completely correlated and put together in all possible relationships.

A timeless interval was spent in doing that.   And it came to pass that AC learned how to reverse the direction of entropy."

- Asimov, The Last Question

 

Admit It. You Knew It Was Coming.

Google.

 

Web giant Google is planning a massive online storage facility to encompass all users' files, it is reported. The plans were allegedly revealed accidentally after a blogger spotted notes in a slideshow presentation wrongly published on Google's site. The GDrive, previously the subject of chatroom rumour, would offer a mirror of users' hard drives, Reuters said. Google declined to comment on the reports but said the slide notes had now been deleted. In the notes, chief executive Eric Schmidt reportedly said Google's aim was to "store 100%" of users' information. The notes said: "With infinite storage, we can house all user files, including e-mails, web history, pictures, bookmarks, etc; and make it accessible from anywhere (any device, any platform, etc)."

 

Love to the BBC.

 

Not that I know if this is actually true or not, but I, for one, welcome our Googalian overlords, and would like to remind them that in my capacity as an experienced software analyst and rogue communicator,  I could be useful in rounding up others to toil in their pan-dimensional data werehouses.

 

Thank you.

 

 

Sweeeeeeeeeet.

Looks like they have released the new trailer for the movie X-Men: The Last Stand online.

Found this one via Digg.  Yeah, you heard me right.  Digg.com.  I gets around.

 

I'm looking forward to this one.  But am I looking forward to it as much as this?

 

"Gaaa!  Snakes!  On a plane!"

 

 

Book Bloggin'

Sigh.  I should have bought Lifehacker flowers for Valentine's Day.

 

The New York Times reports on previously-mentioned blog publishing software BookSmart, which will download and reformat your blog into book form, print and help you sell copies to your fawning readers and internet admirers.

 

Of course this is a good idea.

 

Speaking of which, I'm happy to say that I'm re-emerging into the world.  Hello, people.

This Man Saved Your Life

Nope.  Not kidding. 

 

If you've never heard of Stanislav Petrov, you need to become acquainted. Why? Because there is a strong possibility that he saved your life.

 

You can thank The Officer's Club for this nugget, snagged via the always cool Fark.  Fark.  It's what's for dinner.

 

Other people that I'd like to thank:

 

Justin, who just barely avoided that car that one time that definitely would have killed me.

Grant, who didn't flip the car when we went off the road.

My Mom, who gave birth to me and ran my sorry butt to the hosptal several times when I had concussions and was on the verge of passing out.

My Dad, see above.

 

Thanks all!  And others.  Now back to our regular programming schedule.

 

Simply Because I'm Probably Going To Do It....

I give you:

 

How to Buy a Notebook on eBay (and other online marketplaces)

 

By the way, Hiya!  You miss me?  I missed you.  I've been busy, gone, but hopefully, not forgotten.

 

Let me whet your whistle really quickly on two things that I'm going to be posting on soon, but probably not in a good way.

 

Juno, and FTD.com.  Hopefully neither of those is coming up as a link.  And, because I'm feeling saucy,

 

 

Get ready, boys and girls.  Daddy's home, and he's gonna bite back.

Writer's Block - Ode To Valentine's Day

Of course, I haven't written in a bit.  I must apologize.

 

I've been spending so much time doing other things that I HATE doing, that I haven't taken the time to do one of the things that I truly love: writing.  This is why I write today; I feel the need to remind all of you non-romantic uber-geeks that TOMORROW IS THE MOST IMPORTANT HOLIDAY OF THE YEAR.

 

If you were lucky enough to get off your lazy World-of-Warcraft playing, Domino's pizza-eating, comic-book reading booty and actually leave your dank, foul-smelling (but technologically advanced) apartment long enough to stop thinking about being a first adopter, and went out and actually met real people and *not* someone that you became acquainted with from crawling MySpace, you might now actually have a little someone to celebrate Valentine's Day with. 

 

So, to remind us all, I give you.... Lifehacker.

 

Okay, then. Probably those of you who have been in a relationship for any length of time realize that there are certain rules and regulations that go along with making your relationship successful, especially around High Love Holidays such as Valentine's Day, or as it henceforth shall be known, The Day When Expectations Get Sadly Out of Hand.

 

I remind you, there is nothing those guys over there can't do.

 

Now turn the computer off (yes, there is an off switch, I promise,) and go outside.

 

 

 

Money

Money.  Ah, yes.  We like it, we hate it.  It makes being a grown-up both a joy and a pain in the booty. 

Well, here's a decent website that might, say, MIGHT be able to help you out.

 

Bankrate, Inc. is the Web's leading aggregator of financial rate information. Bankrate's rate data research offering is unique in its depth and breadth. Bankrate continually surveys approximately 4,800 financial institutions in all 50 states in order to provide clear, objective, and unbiased rates to consumers. Our flagship Web site, Bankrate.com, provides free rate information to consumers on more than 300 financial products, including mortgages, credit cards, new and used automobile loans, money market accounts, certificates of deposit, checking and ATM fees, home equity loans and online banking fees.

In my continuing efforts to convert all my business research and such to the internets, I came across it.  Seems useful.  Use.

 

 

 

Good For You, Boys

There are several reasons to like Google. 

Oftentimes, I give examples, like here, here, and here.

 

Here's yet another reason.

 

Google is rebuffing the government's demand for a peek at what millions of people have been looking up on the Internet's leading search engine - a request that raises concerns Big Brother may be watching a little too closely.

 

Thank the New York Daily News for that.  Thank Fark for paying attention.

 

Now.  As everyone who reads this blog knows, I'm a Google fan.  So, I'd like to take this opportunity for Google taking a stand, even if it eventually proves to be fruitless, verus The Man.  The Man is big and scary, and we all owe The Man money.  It's cool that a bunch of computer nerds can stand up to The Man.

 

However, just to make sure that everyone is completely aware of the fact that I don't yet suckle at the Googlalian teet, I should give you an example of something that Google can most certainly improve.  God, how I wish they'd improve it.  Here goes....

 

Why, oh WHY, does Blogger not support categories without forcing a man to do a hack ?  I mean, Blogger is great, but just not good enough sometimes. 

 

Ah well.  Play on, playa.

 

 

 

 

 

Surprising Musical Revelation

You know, oddly enough, the album Louder Than Bombs by The Smiths holds up particularly well, especially the song, "Girl Afraid".

I don't care if Morrissey wore a band-aid on his nipple.

 

Yes, you are allowed to Google that.

 

 

Happy MLK Day!

1963.

 

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

 

  - Martin Luther King, Jr. (via Wikipedia)

 

2006.

 

The complaint lodged by Millie Bonilla and Sheila Foster, the wives of former New York Mets baseball players Bobby Bonilla and George Foster, said they were denied access to the beach at Greenwich Point Park on June 7 because of their skin color. Mrs. Bonilla is Puerto Rican and Mrs. Foster is African American.

 

<article partially snipped>

 

Kelly Houston, the town's affirmative action officer, dismissed the complaint on grounds that the women were not carrying the $25 resident beach cards that are required to enter the park.
Ms. Houston might have been able to sustain her ruling had she not sent an e-mail three weeks earlier to the exercise group leader the women had hired for their class. Her e-mail advised him to be discreet about bringing "black people" to the beach and to cut the number of black participants in the class.

 

Props to The Hartford Courant.  Equal props to my people over at Fark.

 

Additional commentary deleted.  Judge away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's A Trap!

True Life Email that I received today:

 

ATTN:
 
FUND TRANSER CONFIRMATION O.K FURTHER CREDIT ACCEPTED.

 

Uh oh.  My spider sense is tingling.  Internet fraud spam?  I smell Nigeria.  Perhaps Croatia.  Don't people know that African crooks are Old and Busted, while Eastern Bloc Country crooks are the New Hotness?
 

 

Reference to our telephone discussion which I told you that We have received your contract payment approval from our ordering Customer Service in the Central Bank of Nigeria for the further credit to your bank account. With all due respect, our bank has obliged to credit your account with instruction. Quoting reference to bnp transfer regulation and in line with British Financial and Allied Conduct, your account will be effected as soon as you reconcile our 1% Cost of Transfer or you may advise us to deduct the total value and transfer the balance to your account. 

 

Let me guess.  If I send you my bank information, then I'll be able to get a bunch of cash/credit/blood diamonds/hookers/blow?  Yeah, right.

 

Let's read on, shall we?

 

Should you be willing to accept deduction, our bank is therefore urging you to contact the authorized CBN Paying Officer PROF.TOM.O.ADABA board member/director international remittance department, central bank of Nigeria Lagos annex office on, E-mail: tomadaba_2@yahoo.com Please ask him to issue you the Original Hard Copy of the Authority to Deduct 1% Bill of Exchange form to enable us deducts the 1% cost of transfer. Be advised also that we only acknowledge the receipt of the ORIGINAL HARD COPY OF THE BILL OF EXCHANGE FORM, which must be duly filed and signed by the beneficiary before we can effect deduction.

 

Google:  TOM.O.ADABA.  Let's see what we get.

 

Hm.  Link to a page on Crimes of Persuasion.com, referencing Nigerian Scammer Names.  Interesting.

You know, I've been getting a lot more of these lately.  I'm not sure who to blame. I faithfully mark spam emails as spam, and send it to the appropriate place, yet still I get it.  I wonder how much time and money is wasted on this stuff.  I suppose that I could go to Wikipedia and find out, but, at the moment, it's early, I'm tired, and just would rather be held.

 

Please be warned, as our bank does not trust any Nigerian Official except PROF.TOM.O.ADABA board member/director international remittance department, central bank of Nigeria Lagos annex whom we can give attention to in any of this instruction. Prior to our banking regulation, final credit shall be made to your account upon your instruction. NOTE: you're advised to put a stop with any other impostors that you may be corresponding with for now regarding your payment and comply with this fax so that you will not continually fail prey to clique of impostors.

 

Gee, thanks for the tip.

 

Congratulations!

 

Yeah.  Well.  Just for that I'm going to forward your email to the FTC at spam@uce.gov .  Spammers.  They kill me.

 

 

It's Not Paranoia If Someone Is Really Out To Get You

Every now and then, while slipping and sliding through this thing called the Internet, one sees something that they really have a hard time believing to be true, yet is.  Typically one can prove or disprove this random picture, event, or activity simply by going to Snopes, which coincidentally is located in the far right column of this post.

 

However, on occasion, Snopes doesn't have all the information one seeks.  I know, I know, it's rare, but it does happen.

 

Well.

 

How do you feel about this little nugget?

 

Anyone can buy a list of your incoming and outgoing phone calls, cell or land-line, for $110 online

 

...was the headline.  Via Americablog.

 

The story was dated January 7th, 2006.  Hm.  No, I need to be convinced.

 

Yikes, they have a website.  Or maybe two.

 

You've got to be kidding, right?  Isn't this a violation of privacy, or something?

 

Nope.  Ask the Chicago Sun-Times.

 

And, just for good measure, why don't you ask former Supreme Allied Commander of NATO, Wesley Clark.

 

Well, this morning AMERICAblog bought former presidential candidate, and former Supreme Allied Commander of NATO (SACEUR), General Wesley Clark's cell phone records for one hundred calls made over three days in November 2005, no questions asked.

 

That... doesn't... seem... right.

 

Erp.  Patrick Henry would NOT approve, methinks.

 

Thank God I have a Verizon wireless phone.

...did I say that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why AVG Rocks

Here's yet another reason to go with Grisoft's free AVG instead of one of those commerically bought anti-spyware/virus utilities.

 

Oh, dear.  We're just getting over the Sony DRM rootkit ruckus and now we have a security company hiding software components from Windows APIs with rootkit technology.  News.com reports that Symantec Corp.'s spokesperson admitted to using this rootkit type feature in Norton SystemWorks to hide a directory so customers wouldn't accidentally delete files.  The problem was it could also provide a convenient hiding place for attackers to place malicious files. Due to the vulnerability, Symantec has issued an update for SystemWorks and is "strongly recommending" users update the software immediately. 

 

Via the Zdnet Blog.

 

"Gee, I never would have expected that."

 

Yeah, right.

 

I think AVG, for being consistently wonderful, deserves a shout out. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is Cy, the Adorable Cyclops Kitten.

Via Boing Boing.

 

This little kitty, named Cy, was born on December 28. It came into this world with one eye and no nose.

 

To get the full, unfettered, and thoroughly disturbing impact of this bizarre mutation, check at this Yahoo photo.

 

Methinks that the Boing didn't mean "adorable".  I think they meant, "Frightening and sad".  Yikes.  Did anyone check the family to see if they exhibit telekinesis, the ability to change the weather with their mind, or shoot laser beams from their eyes?

 

Addictive Time Wasters, Part III

Today, I did a very strange thing and perused my junk mail.  Usually, I do this about twice a year and see what I missed.  Most of the time, it's completely useless.

However, today I came across something different:  The Top Ten Time Wasting Sites On The Net.  On this page, popups and popdowns galore, so unless you're running Firefox or something, don't bother.  I took a quick look at the webpage; most of what I saw on there I had run across before.

Not this, though.  Not pRon. 

From the rules:

There are actually no rules, just proceed to the next screen, until you are on the end screen!

The only rule is not to look for walkthroughs on the net. It will ruin the fun for you, and this is what all is about.
Don't try to impress others with solutions. It's no challenge to find those on google, everybody can.

This is a puzzle game that is designed to drive a sane person mad.

And rest assured, it IS a time waster.

Good luck, people.  Truly, I mean that.

Do You Want More Traffic?

I do.  They were a hell of a band.

However, if you're looking for blog traffic, then you might want to check into one of my favorite websites, Lifehacker.

ProBlogger has some tips that can help you increase your traffic quite a bit. It's not a big surprise but tagging is high on the list.

The only conclusion that a rational blogger/writer can come to after reading a bit of the Problogger site (where these particular traffic enhancement tricks are found,) is that Hey, this blog is might be actually useful.  Check it out.

True Life Quote That I Heard Today

"If I thought it had any chance of working, I would crack open my own skull, and use a rusty garden rake to scrape the phrase "lady-lumps" out of my brain."
 - ringloss, on the Black Eyed Peas opus, "My Humps".

On that note, I have only this to say:

My humps
My humps
My humps my humps my humps,
You love my lady lumps.
My humps my humps my humps.


Yeah, I know.  The lyrics are merely illustrative.

Here Is A Test

This is a test.  Take notes.  This will count as 3/4 of your final grade.  Hints: remember, in chess, kings cancel each other out and cannot occupy adjacent squares, are therefore all-powerful and totally powerless, cannot affect one another, produce stalemate.

 - Harlan Ellison, "The Deathbird"

Interestingly, this post only tangentally has to do with that particular quote.  However, three test questions of varying difficulty follow the quotes, below.  See if you can answer them correctly.  I would add that if you do not own the story mentioned above, find it and buy it quick.  I have it on good information that it is, at present, out of print.

Via itch.in...

Virgin Records deserves a spanking. I'll do what I want with the content I pay for, thank you very much. When will they realize that if it's in bits and bytes, nothing's ever secure?

More here.

Coldplay's new CD comes with an insert that discloses all the rules enforced by the DRM they included on the disc. Of course, these rules are only visible after you've paid for the CD and brought it home, and as the disc's rules say, "Except for manufacturing problems, we do not accept product exchange, return or refund," so if you don't like the rules, that's tough.

The Boing is at it again.

Now for the test.

1.  Can this particular Coldplay CD actually be played, period?
2.  Has this particular security strategy paid off for Virgin Records and Coldplay with increased record sales and grateful Coldplay fans?
3.  Will Clark buy another CD at any point in the near-future?

Answers will be revealed at the end of this post.

True, sad story:  My mother wanted CDs for Christmas.  EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM had DRM and all of them were likely to load an outside application to her computer system that could make her hardware more susceptible to viruses.  I actually had to tell my mother to never, never ever play any of those CDs on her computer system.  How pitiful is that, really?

DRM blows. 



Answer Key:

1,  No.  Well, maybe.  But do you want to take that chance?
2.  No, unless you count fan alienation as an overall positive for your musical fan base, from the obsessed fan to the casual consumer.
3.  No.  No.  A thousand times no.  Oh my God, DRM killed Kenny.  You bastards!

The Denver Nuggets

A few weeks ago, I met a friend of mine (let's call him lazyj - you might know him from jaxed) at a relatively popular joint downtown for a little dinner.  While talking, the NBA came up, as it always does, and within the NBA, the Denver Nuggets. 

 

My friend's opinion:

 

"The Nuggets have no chance to win the Northwest if Camby gets hurt.  If it gets hurt it's over."

 

Well, Nuggets fans, where is your God now?!

 

DENVER (AP) -- The Denver Nuggets suffered another major setback Wednesday when they learned center Marcus Camby , the NBA's leading rebounder, will be out indefinitely with a broken right pinkie.

Camby will need surgery on the finger, after which a timeline for his return will be set.

Yahoo props.

 

Damn. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bring Back Television

Sigh.

 

The pathetic state of network programming in 2005 has really chaffed my hide.  If you look, you can find out how I feel about it here, or here. 

 

But you really want to know what to watch?  Here's the list.

 

Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Lesbians, vampires, and kung-fu.  Perfect.

Star Trek - The Next Generation - Seasons 1-5.  After that things got a little out of hand.

The Twilight Zone/Night Gallery (original versions).  Classics, all.  Why can't anyone make scary shows anymore?  Also, it must be said:  Rod Sterling was a stud.

Soap/WKRP In Cincinnati/Barney Miller - Quite simply, three of the funniest shows to every grace the small screen.  "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."  Stunningly funny.

 

I'm pretty sure that all of these are available via The Man on DVD.

There are more that I know I'm forgetting, but I don't want anyone to feel left out.  Feel free to leave your selections in the comments.

 

You'll notice that I didn't include the rough 'em up, shoot 'em up stuff on my list.  That's ok.  Instead, I'll post this:

 

Mr. T. vs Everything

 

...for all you A-Team fans.

 

"I pity the fool."  Heh.

Feelin' Secure?

So, yeah, I've been on a brief hiatus.  A combination of slow news weeks, Christmas, birthdays, and family visits have done me in.

But I'm back.

 

And I decided, for your tinfoil hat pleasure, I'd gift you this holiday season with this non-revelation.

 

NEW YORK - The National Security Agency's Internet site has been placing files on visitors' computers that can track their Web surfing activity despite strict federal rules banning most of them.

Really?

These files, known as "cookies," disappeared after a privacy activist complained and The Associated Press made inquiries this week, and agency officials acknowledged Wednesday they had made a mistake. Nonetheless, the issue raises questions about privacy at a spy agency already on the defensive amid reports of a secretive eavesdropping program in the United States.

You don't say. 

The Bush administration has come under fire recently over reports it authorized NSA to secretly spy on e-mail and phone calls without court orders.  Since The New York Times disclosed the domestic spying program earlier this month, President Bush has stressed that his executive order allowing the eavesdropping was limited to people with known links to al-Qaida.  But on its Web site Friday, the Times reported that the NSA, with help from American telecommunications companies, obtained broader access to streams of domestic and international communications.

 

Story via Yahoo.

 

Wow.  I can't believe that such a thing would happen.

 

Listen up, people.  Anyone who thinks that they are private when they surf is a fool.  Perhaps even a damn fool.  I kind of expect (not necessarily ACCEPT, ha) that pretty much everyone in the government who gives a hoot about what people say on their blogs has read this at some point.  I've seen the server and hit reports.

 

So.  With this in mind, I'd like to say this:

 

I know you're out there. 

You have my file already.

Read all you like.  I have very little to hide.

 

Now.  Where did I bury that cash?  Kidding.  KIDDING.

 

 

 

I Heart Lifehacker

Ah, Lifehacker.

 

Obviously, the Hack has what could only be described as unconditional love for us all.  And I love it back.  Why?  Well, quite simply, because they post hints like this. 

The biggest shortcoming in Gmail's user interface is that damnable dropdown menu item to delete messages. I don't know about you, but I delete messages a LOT and I need a convenient button to do so.

Happily programmer Anthony Lieuallen provides a choice of Firefox extension OR Greasemonkey user script which adds a delete button to your Gmail.

Link to the info is here.

I delete a LOT of mail.  Unfortunately, my gmail addy is all clogged up with junk at the moment.  I am in the process, though, of cleaning a lot of that up using labels and filters.  If you need a gmail invite, let me know.  Gmail has also added a bunch of happy new features.  Check it out.

 

Lifehacker.  Sigh.  I really, really like that website.

 

Short, Shameful Confession No. 1029

Man, I can really dig on some old Janet Jackson tunes.

 

I'm not kidding.  I've been listening to her old stuff (pre-1996) for the last hour.

Fighing The Man

It's just looks catchy, doesn't it?

Welcome, internet, to The Consumerist, the latest title from Gawker Media. The Consumerist loves to shop, and is reconciled to utilities, but hates paying for shoddy products, inhumane customer support, and half-assed service.

Each week The Consumerist will guide you through the delinquencies of retail and service organizations. The Consumerist will highlight the persistent, shameless boners of modern consumerism — and the latest hot deals, discounts, and freebies around.

Join us. You'll tell us when you've been royally screwed by yet another company, and we'll channel your rage. Together we will storm the revolving doors of faceless corporations to call them naughty words for genitals, and they will begin to fear us.

The Consumerist. Capitalism is broken. We'll help you fix it.

Heh.  I smell a permalink, and soon.  We'll see.

The Consumerist.

Go man go.

Oh, No. NOOOOOOO!

Dear God, please make it stop.

 

Wilmer Valderrama will star as motorcycle cop Ponch in Warner Bros . Pictures' big-screen version of cult late 70's classic series "CHiPs" says The Hollywood Reporter .

You mean... CHiPS, the Movie?

.

.

.

.

.

 

That's it.  I'm boycotting Hollywood, except for Peter Jackson.  Of course.

 

 

Beat Down

Ever took a really, really good beatin'?

 

From the police?

 

I have.  Here's the story.

 

Several years ago, I was working as a clerk in a law firm in Washington, D.C.  The Washington Redskins were going to the Super Bowl that year.

The city was excited.  Everyone was partying like it was... well, 1999 or something.  I know that you can forgive the Prince reference.

 

So, my roommates and I went to a friend's to attend a Super Bowl party in Georgetown.  All of my roomies and my roomies friends quickly went from completely sober, to mind-bendingly, stunningly, shockingly sloshed.  We were young, and the Redskins were winning.  But, as I recall, I was just as shockingly sober, as I didn't feel particularly well.

 

The game ended.  The 'Skins won.

 

On the streets of Washington, chaos ensued.

 

The world is full of tremendous parties.  I understand very few gatherings are like (former) New Orleans, or Rio, during Marti Gras.  I remember being in Mexico during Spring Break in 1989, and in some ways, I think that I *still* haven't recover from the massive throng of humanity.  And I know that everyone can think of other examples.

 

However, all that being said, those were NOTHING like the streets of Georgetown the day the the Washington Redskins won the Super Bowl.

 

The street were all roped off.  TV stations were on rooftops with cameras, which will be important later in the story.  There was almost a full-blown riot going on underneath this woman's ritzy Georgetown apartment.  So, naturally, she wanted to go down and join the revelry.

 

Of course, I volunteered to go down with her.  What can I say?  She was embarrassingly drunk, and completely attractive.  It was my duty.

 

Down we went.  It was an amazing sight, indeed, made even more amazing by the fact that we were in the thick of it.  The Washington D.C. police were out in force.  There weren't going to be cars on fire THIS year.  I had no problem with this.  Unfortunately, my female buddy wasn't so pleased with the showing of Washington's Finest, and said something to one of the officers.  This would be defined as Major Mistake No. 1, as she was almost immediately singled out and dragged over the rope partition in the middle of the street.

 

Major Mistake No. 2:  In response to the affront, I asked the officer for his badge number.  Three times.  Angrily.

 

You can guess the response.  Pulled over the rope partition, into the middle of the street, and the full-blown beating by at least two policemen commenced.

 

Time now for an important Public Service Announcement:  if you are being beaten in the middle of the streets by cops, BE SURE TO COVER YOUR HEAD.  I cannot stress how important this is.  I fought back, but I did cover my head as I laid there on the ground in the middle of M Street, being beaten to a pulp by two of the District's Finest (or Worst, as the case may be), and I strongly suspect this action saved me serious, serious injury.  As it was, though, was not good.  I was definitively and thoroughly beat up as I was dragged into a police car and accused of assaulting a police officer.  I told them, "Not only did you beat me in the street, and not only were there thousands of witnesses and TV cameras all over the place, but I work for a law firm.  I'm going to sue the hell out of you."

 

Several hours later, I was released. 

 

I went home, sat in the bathtub for an hour and plotted my revenge.

 

And the final response?

 

I went to my firm and made some inquiries.  They told me this, which I will never forget:

 

"You have no way of winning a case in this city, at this time, and if you try to file administrative actions with anyone against those cops, then the D.C. police department will harass you until the day you die.  Move out of the District and to Virginia or Maryland as soon as you possibly can."

 

So I moved.

 

But that has haunted me ever since.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bizzare

Heh.

Ok, so has anyone had a problem that they absolutely, positively, couldn't explain?
I do.  It's called severe, nasty sleeplessness.

It started out several years ago.  College, I think.  Personally, I think that it began with a problem with an old girlfriend.  It was funny, I was all pretty much ok, and then, out of nowhere, I just... stopped sleeping.  At first, it was just a little passing joke - something that I thought that I could get over.  Then, it became much more serious.  There were weeks at a time where sleeping was just not an option.  And it always happened at the same two times of year:

1.  Christmas holidays.
2.  Early spring.

However, I am not one of those people that tries to ignore those types of problems.  I read books, I worked hard, I tried to do new things.

And with that, after a while, the problem somewhat went away.

But I had to deal with it again, twice.  And, as some of you might guess, I'm presently dealing with it again now, as it's 5:12am in Denver, and I've been wide awake since 12am.  That would make it more than a week since I've gotten more that three hours of sleep.

Events and such can sometime cause this kind of situation.  Also, desperation.  Like several friends have often said, "It's not that I'm crazy for not sleeping at night.  It's just that the voices in my head are always louder when the lights are out."  Ha ha.  But there is a nugget of truth in that statement.

Depression, loneliness, and such are nasty things.  They will keep you awake.  They will convince you to do things that aren't the best for you.  They will break you and help you to destroy your own life if you aren't careful.

So, with this in mind, I will tell you all a secret; something that I've thought carefully, and quite a bit, about, in the last several days.  One of those things in the Post Secret type of mindset, so why I'm posting it as a basically non-anonymous person, I have no idea.  But I think that I need to get it off my chest.

When I was a sophomore in college, I met what I thought was the love of my life.  We got pregnant, and had an abortion.  And, in all honesty, I have not been the same ever since. 

That is not a license for all of the anti-abortion types to start hatin' on me or this blog, nor is it an invitation that all pro-choice types (of which, I am one) to start coming out and high-fiving me.  My blog is pretty politics neutral.  It's just the way that it is.  But to be honest, I have not been the same person since that girl, that I loved dearly, had that abortion.  That's all.

So.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to get some serious, serious help and figure out why, after all these years, I still occasionally can't sleep at night, and why, after all of these years, I still dream about that situation, and when I don't dream about it, I just... lie awake.

Ok.  That's all I've got, laid out for the world to see.  Jennifer, if you are out there, I'm sorry, sincerely, and I still miss you.

This post, though, is for Tim R.  Rest in peace, brother.  Your friends and family lost you too soon.